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The Jaded One's blog: "A true story?"

created on 11/24/2006  |  http://fubar.com/a-true-story/b27938

My Night Out.....

Ok so I went out to the strip club for the first time last night. Today I feel a lot like death. My stomach is in revolt and I think my hair actually hurts. Each tap of the keys on here pretty much feels like a drum in my head but I think I'm starting to recover some. I've had enough people ask me how last night went though that I figure since I've gotten to where I can actually lift my head a little I'd share my experience. First I have to say I did expect a strip club to have better looking women. I guess I found a bad one but then I had been told that all of them here in this town pretty much suck. Most of the women didn't have bodies to write home about thats for sure. The two who did have really awesome bodies were kinda scary looking when you got close enough to look them in the eye. But what the hell I still had a good time. I got my tit grabbed by a cute little black chick and I think I found the worlds softest skin on a blond chick with a nice set of fake tits who decided to come hang out with me and my hubby. The bouncer came over and told me once to behave because apparently some of the men didn't like the fact that I could put money down the strippers g string and they couldn't but she sure didn't mind. I was so wasted by that point that I didn't really care. I did a shot of jager with the blond which is what I think wound up making me have such a horrid hang over. About thirty minutes later shit is a blank and I literally don't remember coming home. None the less despite the fact that I had hoped for hotter women and that I feel like death today I had a great time and I can't wait to go back to the strip club again. Next time I think I'll drink less though! So if I don't reply real fast today I'm not ignoring you I'm just trying not to feel like death.

A little bit more....

Hmmm ok so where does my little tale continue. Lets fast forward for a minute past the rest of 16 and 17 because well I got knocked up again and nothing fucks up a good time more than being pregnant. So there I am at 18 still married now with 2 kids and after a short venture of living in Denver I'm once again back in that little shit hole town with more churches than bars. If anyone has lived in a tiny little town like I'm describing you will know that while there are not a lot of bars and clubs...well frankly wtf are clubs...people love to get drunk. Why the hell not. Nothing better to do to pass the time so everyone from the school teachers to the preachers of all those damn churches that are on every corner drink like fish. Blame it on the cold winters, liquor keeps you warm! So of course nevermind the underage thing cause if push comes to shove you can convice the drunk school teacher to buy for you so yeah I learned how to really drink around this time in my life. I don't mean learned how to sip or do a shot or two and fall down drunk I mean I learned how to sit down and tip triple shots of tequilla back like they are water. Line 'em up boys I can eat the worm can you? So there I am in that tiny little shit hole town drunk off my ass but still on my feet and what better thing to do than of course get naked! This was in a time before the internet hit the small towns really and while everybody at the party is a great audience for a short while what better way to spice shit up then flash all the traffic that goes by on a friday night! Its not a big town but damn did it sure seem like a whole hell of a lot of traffic found its way down that road. Can you say quick way to earn a reputation? The only thing people in small towns like to do better than drink is gossip and of course everyone knows everyone else! Yeah needless to say people learned the best place to party. The more they came around encouraging me the more I did crazy stuff to get attention. Deep throat hot dogs...oh yeah watch this shit! What let them two chicks lick drinks off my nipples...bring it on! Of course we're going to kiss and hey who ran off with my top dammit?? I was just warming up though hell I hadn't even hit 21 yet.
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