Not an original post, but I just thought I'd do a FB style share. These patrons sound like real characters.
This “barred list” from a south London pub is the best thing anyone has shared on Twitter today
Mickey Two Suits and Fat Paul sound particularly fun
It's official, the wildest drinking establishment of all time was the Half Moon in South West London.
The legendary Herne Hill pub was closed by a flood in 2013, but the list of people who were reportedly barred from drinking there just found its way online and it makes the milk bar from A Clockwork Orange look like Dave & Buster's. Just feast your eyes on this motley crew.
If you're like me, you're probably asking yourself a lot of questions right now. Like, who are One Armed Kieth [sic, or maybe not?] and Crazy Linda and what did they do to get themselves banned for life? Is there a Two Armed Kieth and Sane Linda who are allowed in whenever they want? What is with this one guy who's just called "Jason?"
Although the authenticity of something like this is hard to verify, as far as we can tell the list comes from the singer Rumer. A former Half Moon regular herself, she's part of a group protesting plans to convert the pub's famous live music area into a restaurant when it eventually reopens, and she shared the old list as a way of calling attention to the bar's rich history. You see, the Half Moon hasn't just hosted bands like U2 and Van Morrison over the years. It's also where you could find guys like Adam the Deaf Guy and Flat Cap Coke Fiend in the midst of what we can only assume was a Keith Richards-level rager.
Rumer also went on to explain that One Armed Kieth lost his arm doing exactly what you'd expect: running onto a railway track while "evading justice." (Classic One Armed Kieth.) Although she later clarified that she doesn't know if that's "100 percent true," we say: who cares? Half-truths and tall tales are part of the fun when you're dealing with characters like Mickey Two Suits and Fat Paul.
We weren't familiar with the Half Moon before now, but we would like to implore Southwark Council to please save this gem from becoming some sterile family pub and grill.
All together now: Sometimes you wanna go / Where everybody knows your name...
