WELL, as ,many of you know, in April 13, 2006, I started to have a headache that was so physically dibilitating that I was passing out at work and in my bosses office, which she did not like and sent me home on short term disability till it was under control after a week of this. I pushed it out to as far as I could and ended the month at the top of my game having won an awark in the wake of the storm that would soon become my life. I figured it would stop within a week as our family has had a history of migraines for all the women in biologically born into our family do once they've become a woman and are plagued onec a month with a migraine headache from hell as our blessing to bare fruit and continue the legacy that my white grand parents left me... AKA nothing but eggs on my part.
So, that headache that never stopped and kept getting stronger in intensity and debilitating pain pushed my then basic nuerologist to do a spinal tap to see if somehow I had an infection in my brain and spinal fluid of if anything else was going on since there was no high pressure of brain of spianal fluid which usualy shows in your eyes as it can press upon your optic nerves and eventually lead to blindness... we later found out.
For a just lets rule out a few things, she set me up for a spinal tap to check the pressure in my spine and brain for fluid abnormal or not. So I had a spinal tap at South West mecial center here in Vancouver washington and found out that not only did I have a little higher than normal spinal fluid in my nereval center of the body but I had twice the normal pressure which should be 15... mine was 33. So right then and there, they took out the extra spinal fluid before it blew out my spine and did the normal testes on the fluid and ofund it was good just way too much for no good reason.
After spending a couple days at home resting and getting over a spine shoved deep into the middle of my spine, I realized that the pain was not going away and each day, it was getting worse and worse to the point that I was sitting in a chair in the living room at my EXS house and was shaking so hard the chair was squeaking like an elephant confronted by a mouse with razor fangs and was basicly shaking so hard I couldn't speak but for screams and gasps of pain.
Kevins family was not ok with this so they called the doctor and just from hearing me scream in the back ground had me taken in immediatly to the ER and found that in 3-4 short days my pressure had climbed back up to28 when it should have been the 15 they had extracted fluid for to fix it days before. So after another 2 days my pressure once again was climbing again and I was diagnosed with a disease that is totaly non communicable called Intercranial Hypertensions (pseudo tumor cerebrai) which I have type 1 where there is no reason for it that they can find but it kicks your ass and normal pain pills tend to not touch it in any way let alone that most people with this disease find it totaly dibilitating.
Its been my bane since then and as any of you who trully know me in anyway shape or form know, I fight this disease for my independance as much as possible. Its taking my sight slowly step by step with a retinal disease that I just found out yesterday, leads to eye cancer that very easily spreads quickly to the rest of the body and is reccomended that with anyone with this diesease needs to be checked immediatly for cancer in thier entire body as it spreads fast like my dads cancer does. In some ways this would be an answer to prayers as it would be a reason beyond what they've found that is the reason for all this bull shit but at the same time, cancer is what killed my father... soooo...
At this time, I don't have eye cancer but from what they are already seeing, I have the changing cells that do lead to cancer of my eyes and slowly just destroy my retinas as they are already being seriously fucked with. So now its just waiting to get refered to another specialist to find out if this can be stopped or if I have to have cancer fighting grains inserted into my eyes and do chemo on it before it spreads beyong my eyes like my dads did that took him in 3 months... I'm praying for Gods will in it come what may.
Back to the rest, well the specialist found through the MRI that I do in fact have a severe narrowing of the tubes that are suppposed to be leaking out brain fluid to the parts of my body that need it and that may be why I've passed out 26 times in the last week alone, not counting the 3 hours of black out that I've lost memory with. And seeeing how anything that I do besides resting tends to find me and whatever I'm carrying on the floor praying I don't break my spine as the doctor is so afraid I'm going to do ...
But I do what I can and hold my strength for the times when I need it and when I do go out to do anything at all, I surround myself with people who understand my disease and know not to freak the hell out if I pass out or black out and just watch over me till I come back to life as usual. Hard on them but either that or I can sit at home and do the same thing... so I leave that choice with them as to what they are willing to handle or not. So for the next 3 days I'm doing jack to prepare for a dear friends hopefully celebratory success in getting into a masters degree course after a basic test that brings alot of tricky questions with it and being part of her celebrating would be kick ass cool as I love spending time with her!
So keep me in your prayers that this surgery that will take place in the next week or so shows a huge difference that I feel daily in my head, will be so obvious in this surgery that they can but a stint into it and hopefully fix it so I'm not passing out and hopefully help withthe pain the mean time. Cuz almost 2 years on 247 worst mirgraine I've ever had X 5 is tiring and I'm ready to get off this ride...
And thats where I am.
If you don't see me much online, thats why... blacking out on a computer chair and falling to the floor and only finding out about it is a goose egg on my head from hitting my desk and bruises all over my legs from getting them trapped in the mahogany desk is not fun anymore. Brusises on chocolate people for some reason always look worse than just the vanilla crowd let alone the fact that it makes us like damn dirty and I'm not up for that as I already have to have someone there to help me shower lest I pass out in the shower crack my head on teh shower or crack the tub bottom... Sorry but I want my deposit back!
ROFLMAO... not really but at least I'm smiling a little.
Now how do I tell me family in Indiana without them panicing... I'm thinking I should wait till its done and find out if it can be fixed and go from there or just leave them in the same holding pattern and not get thier hopes up as I'm trying not to get mine up as well. Hurts to much to have your hopes dashed daily.
Just keeping the ones I love informed!
Love ya and see ya soon!
