Over 16,530,091 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
..so, im grateful for those who helped me last night. heres a more sensible addendum. i suppose the planets were just misaligned or some great karmic debt was paid or the cosmos just wanted to give me a big 'fuck YOU, fucker!' last night.. whatever the reason, it was genuinely, deeply, absurdly fucking bad from every angle; that said, i simply have to believe, cos its the only way i know, that it was a necessary evil. some things are too heavy to even consider, so life runs off course and manifests in indelible ways at random times. fuck, i sound just as crazy as i did last night.. and i am.. but th falling from grace was sincere and genuine and necessary to 'us' and to ourselves. there was no ego involved with either of us..nor games..nor manipulation..nor orchestration..or even premeditation. it was authentic emotion on both sides.. painful,but meaningful, like most all things, worthwhile, in life.. well, again, thank u, my friends.. especially paul (he really was subjected to my full disintegration into scattered, idiotic thoughts). finally, stevil, i love u. thank you for who u are and for how u contribute, so fiercely, to who i am. I LOVE ALL OF U! -mel
