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Font is Trebruchet MS on account of Tinker being a nerd.
He thought up a plan and he thought it up (not so) quick
Bruno and I walk at night. Most of the year it is cooler at night and when it is not cooler at least the sun isn't burning a hole in your head. Also, my county has a crazy ordinance against Pitbulls that says basically anything that someone, who may or may not be a dog expert, deems to be a pitbull is one. The fines start at $500 dollars a day and continue until, ideally in their mind, you have the dog put down.
My vet agrees with me that Bruno is a mix of a lot of breeds including boxer and mastiff. Certainly one of his parents wasn't a pitbull and that is what the law is supposed to preclude. But then there is that crazy clause that some judge would have final say as to whether of not the dog is half pitbull.
Bruno and my solution is that we walk at night. No sense inviting trouble even though I am confident I would win and Bruno would be deemed not half pitbull. Losing is a price higher than I am willing to pay.
The downside of walking at night is that Bruno's sense of smell beats my nighttime vision. I think I could have a platoon of soldiers all in nighttime vision goggles and he would still have an unfair advantage.
Bruno and I have vastly different definitions of the word "edible." He takes a much more literal definition of the word.
Quite often he manages to wolf something down before I can stop him or even notice that has eaten something. This has been going on for 10 years now so I am beginning to trust that his definition of edible hasn't done him any harm.
Still I draw the line on bones. Especially chicken bones. I am still not sure who is just tossing bones of any sort onto the lawns and swales but it is surprisingly widespread. And it isn't just limited to the corners that are auspicious for Voodoo and Santeria rituals. Just about every square inch of grass on our walk is liable to yield some type of dog "treat."
He can crush chicken bones easily, so a fast paced drama starts the second I hear chicken bones crack. It involves him trying to swallow at a rate that may have saved the Titanic from sinking and me trying to grab the bones out of his mouth without getting any hand parts inhaled. Luckily he is very gentle and it hasn't occured to him yet that one bite to my hand and he achieves short term victory.
He is also very smart. He will sometimes try to eat his chicken bones very slowly without making any noise. Pandora has been his friend of late.
The other night we were walking and about 4 blocks from home he picked up a bone. It was some type of steak bone I think. I figured I would let him keep it. But I still wanted to look at it once we got home. I don't know if he knew that I noticed him grab it as he walked quietly the whole way home without chewing on it.
At the house we go in through the side gate into the back yard. Then we go to the back door where I take of his leash. He still had his bone as we entered the back yard. He also had a plan. As we turned the corner towards the door, he quickly ran out into the yard to the end of his leash, he never does this. When he came back I realized what he did. He stashed his loot in the yard before I had a chance to take it from him.
Outmaneuvered and outsmarted by the dog.
