Not too tickled pink I LOVE my owner Fu ...'s blog: "detatched"

now i dont know if u know about seth the poem a farwell has his but now it also seems like justyn which oddly enough also went toward the tattoo i wanted with toxic love in it anyways... seth is clearly going to jail or prison for a long time and i just dont know how to feel the last things he did to me makes me hate him and i know i didnt deserve that but yet i love him... and yet i didnt want bad for him and sadly yes even though i didnt want to talk to him hoped id see him soon but with this i think it makes it offically final because after that he wont be the same and all with all that time to think and such its sad but i dont care does this make me a bad person that i dont care that the person i love is going away behind bars??? i feel so apathetic at times... sigh i just want to be loved and he finialy did for a long time was truly the only one i guess elfishly i know now i am truly alone

well my best friend just moved out of cali and got thee felonies and four misdemeanors so yeah he is going to jail or prison right? for a long time at that

it wasnt quiet christmas... but the last two night last night and the night before ive heard things i have wanted to hear for a long time said and talked about things that needed to be done for a long time. i got my vailiadtion of love comitment and kick in the ass all at once... i now feel perfect and loved... and i also fucking kicked ass on the preasvab i went from a 19 to a 52 bnow u add 10-15 points to the thats what i get on the asvab life is still shit but a better .

do ruin everything my ex thinks i cheated on him.... never happened,,, but i did fuck up and sleep wit hthe person i had slept with for three years right after we broke up but bad timing he came around when i was low and hurting so i did it to fill this void in me tat hey ur good enough for something when i felt like nothing.... my bad i fucked up... so now i hurt someone i love because he thinks i cheated and then i hurt him by fucking someone right afer we broke up...

Daily Horoscope: Leo For December 4,2007 You're feeling fantastic today and should be able to cheer up almost anyone who looks like they need a lift. You may just want to take the whole day off and enjoy whatever comes your way. well thats a bunch of bullshit! tonight i saw my best friend have a nervous break down cryin cuttiing him self and much more then my dad woke up and started fighting with me and slapped me... so seth being my hero and loving me got in an fight with him my dad hit and was smacked him and pulled a knife on him and blah blah blah... to tired and miserable to think... he is my friend is now downtown wanting to kill himself crying .... im here in oside .... he said things tonight i alway wanted to hear... that he wanted me but he said he had to fix himself he loved me and would fight for me and kill anyone who hurt me... and almost killed my dad! i dont know.... i need to talk to someone please hit me up

james. wow so i heared through through the grape vive you brought traina a ring i dong know if im suppose to know or not but i cant keep secerts good job i never saw two people moore compataatable keep her babe... i do love u i have never cared about some one as i do u in the ways i do... okay lover her and keep her... anyway i miss u and u i hope u two come back around.....

i know i can never unknow i hate the fact that my sister crawls up her boyfriends ass! its wrong its wrong how she wont do anything with out him how he always has to be there glued to her damn hip... and i am the asshole for wanting someone? fuck..... i have always been alone for a long time because i was ugly and flat out i WAS! now im coming into everything and i dont know what to do i never had a fboyfriend .. okay Cliff but lets face it he lived far and still dumped my ass..... and seth the closest thing i have had.... doesnt really want me any way hurts me with his words talks about the girls he has been with and how hot that girl is and this one.... all i wanna to do is cry. i feel this snse of emptyness and staying here in cali isnt working... it really isnt i mean come on now! no one calls me i cant get a job... and as soon as things go wrong who do i go back to? this life is killing me... it makes me crazy to why after all this shit i still see him as something... is it because im usuing him... and because there is so many years involved the only way it works is if i get the validation that YES he thinks ur this this and this.... u know i fuck everything up too.. i raelly liked lee thought he was chill as hell but NO jenn has to go and be all jenn and now he wont talk to her ... cliff broke up with her and all she is left with is seth who treats her like what she is..... everyone says i desereve better well where is the better huh? ud think after this long id fine at least something.... no wait they all leave. becaues they realize im not better.... yes i hate myself u dont like reading it then dont...i just wish it would all stop already.....i wish i knew what i did wrong... so i could fix it...

my dad told me today since i am seriously thinking about joining the navy that he will send me to see all my family before i do... so i get to go to NH, OH, IN, and then im gonna see about Fresno.. he said wait till january so that holiday traffic has died down.. some and we can get more money for and i can figure out my route... but f---king rock on i get to travel then join go off for training..... and see more of the world... things are starting to look up for MISS JENN

im bored... and i am sick of being lied to. dont tell me one thing and then do another like that... dont spare my feelings i rather have your honesty shit... the lies is that hurts me more..... fuck fuck fuck im missing seth like a monther fucker okay there is some truth... i miss him next to me.. and pissing me off and mkaing me laugh... i am still most likely moving to ohio still studying to join the navy... i need to do somethng ... sick of feel worthless

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