I've got another confession to make...and you'd be amazed at the secrets I keep. :-D
I'm getting quite antisocial as I age. I keep running into old friends and potential new friends everywhere I go these days, but I just glare at them menacingly and ignore their friendly hellos. I spent an hour in Walmart and ignored three people and two associates. People just seem to get in my way.
Reality bites the big one.
:-)
I'm halfway through the "8 films to Die For" - Nice horror movie collection. Some of them are lacking in plot and overcompensate in random flashes of skin, but the rest are impressive.
I am also prequalified for 1 survey! Awesome
My mother goes in for surgery on the 1st of October, haven't spoken to her in 6 weeks. My sister is on antidepress meds, no idea where she lives at. My youngest brother still lives at home and spends so much time online that he doesn't know what our parents are up to. My other brother moved to Louisville with his girlfriend some months ago and I haven't heard from him since. My dad still holds onto the belief that the world is perfectly fine and nothing is wrong, if he works all the time then it is.
I may catch up with everyone at Thanksgiving if mom doesn't have a mental breakdown and start hallucinating and claim the turkey is the severed head of the guy living in the woods again this year....
My family is a twisted example of modern madness and chaotic dissolution of the social norm.
This world will never be what I expected and if I don't belong, who would have guessed it?
I have found that I have two options in life.
Option 1: Work so much that the world passes me by in a blur and I leave an untainted corpse and a lot of money with no one to bear my burden.
Option 2: Perform Option 1, but drag some poor sole along with me under the guise that I love them and want to spend the rest of my morbid existence with them by my side.
I prefer to play the part of the wanderer.
I have no permanent foundation. I stay with whomever will take me in for the night. My world is mobile. There was a time when I enjoyed life and drank heavily from the cup. I traveled for pleasure once, but now I travel to escape myself.
I am enigmatic. A salaried, general manager of a business with years of experience and more money than someone my age should be entitled to, but I give it all away. I give strangers food and hitch-hitchers rides to anywhere they desire. My parents have bankrolled the building of most of their two story home on my credit, but I never speak to them. I put my youngest brother through college at my expense, but he dropped out and stopped speaking to me. I loaned money to friends in need and then stopped talking to them.
I am truly insane. When I am working I know what I need to do. I have a system, a structure, a routine, a constant, a planner, an outline, a purpose. When I am off work I am lost...everything I own except 7 days wardrobe and my laptop are in a storage unit and have been for 11 months. It's such a shame what I become, after years of breaking down. I know that I have lost someone, but that someone isn't me...
I hold on so nervously to me and my dreams, but so far it hasn't be anything but my imagination.
Too many words causes the human brain to shut down so I will shut up....for now. ;)
-Robert
