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DeerBear's blog: "DeerLog"

created on 08/17/2010  |  http://fubar.com/deerlog/b335337

Hello!

 

Let's set this straight: most fubarians are here to score.

And you know what I mean, if you *REALLY* don't then you either are too

young to be here or you probably just do not pertain here.

Don't get me wrong: not all of us are here for that reason, but still, many are.

Ok so now to the point: either you are thaat kind of person or you're not,

you should be reading profiles.

Reasons to do this if you are:

  • Profiles can give you nice hook points
  • Profiles can address your effort in ways that will get you a response back
  • Profiles can help you see the "bigger picture" of the person

 

These reasons alone should be compellng.

Reasons to do this if you are not:

  • Same reasons as above
  • Profiles will also usually give you an idea of the person and how you will get along with him/her.
    This might look like a shallow point but is indeed crucial: if the person is,for instance, supportive of the
    army and you're not, well, there are good chances that your differences will crop up pretty soon.
  • Profiles will also help you understand what kind of approach is best suited to talk to the person

The last one you might think would apply to the former category too, but there's a golden rule
about those people that you really need to know: they will usually ignore common sense.

If they had a bit of it, they would probably not try to score with all and every girl on fu :)

Thus, if you don't read profiles, you are missing out for many reasons, be aware of this the
next time you are on fu :)

Passion and commitment

I was looking through the statuses of my friends' list when I got to see this one: "is there any men out there who knows how to be good to a woman and love her the way she needs to be and not played so tired of the players.i ma a real woman and need a real man" from a girl. This was my comment: "The problem lies in the fact it's hard to tell those who say they are from those who really are. Most times, those who really are will generally not so say to not get mixed with those who only say it. Not judging anyone, mind you, just pointing out a fact. Hugs, Andrew" I thought, however, I would expand on this and made a post since I am particularly sensitive to the matter. My heart has been shattered and pissed on way many more times than I would have liked, Yet, I think the problem isn't just in love relationships. The problem is not just in relationships either, but it talks to the core of us as human beings. We all have moments/situations where we just don't give a darn. That's normal. There are people who we like, others who we don't. We can't please everyone and we will hence rarely please anyone. That's where - in my opinion - the problem lies. There are, of course, exceptions, such as my lovely nop who spoils me every day and then some Tentative.gif And I try to reciprocate for what I can(yes, you're always in my mind no matter how many times in a week we talk). However, what is lacking today is passion and commitment. Wait a minute, "passion" isn't about love *ONLY*. It's about work, too. There's a customer relationship management mantra saying "go the extra mile". That means, basically, "do what you're expected to and then add some". It's one of the best ways to "customer retention" as they say. Yet, people nowadays lack that because they do not have passion for what they do. Mind you, I do that too at times, but I try to go the extra mile when I can, even if I am not into customer support. Every day, I get in the office and I turn computers on. I am a sysadmin and I am "only" expected to fix things when they break, but I do not just do that. I run regular daily updates check to the "main" computer which is crucial to handle communication with other entities and institutes, I make sure everything is working properly BEFORE users arrive and call me. The net result is not just that I have to spend 10 minutes daily doing these operations, but I get called MUCH, MUCH less as a result and have more time to do my stuff without being interrupted. Plus, it always "feels" that things are running smoothly and when I say I can't go, there almost is a revolution because guess what? when I am not there things feel and act like breaking, even though they aren't really, but they feel that way. Because everything runs smoothly when I am there. Passion and commitment are also about focus. Focus on the detais is important, as it is on the global aspects. When I run the updates on the main computer, I am not just focusing on the computer but also on the communication that will be brought forward using it and ultimately the direction the association is going on. Mine is a technical role, hence I can(and should) only focus on streamlining and make sure things work - but that would be nothing if I didn't have my VISION of how things should be working. It's easy to run an update, it's much less easy to make a plan of doing them. I originally am a software analyst/programmer and I have designed and WRITTEN dozens of software systems. When you do that, you must have a vision of what the program will be doing once shipped. When it wasn't me to decide, hence the vision was not in my hands, it didn't always go well. Because people forget to have a vision and just do patchwork. So, now we know that passion and commitment are also about focus and vision. What happens in a love relationship? Passion, and maybe love, arrive and then they transform into daily routine. Why? Because there's no focus. And no vision. How about commitment? Well, if you don't have a vision, how can you commit to anything? You'll just live by the day and see what happens, getting the most you can at any given moment in time. That's where cheating comes from. Lack of vision and focus. That's why many marriages(again, exceptions *ARE* still alive and well) fail miserably after some time. I have tourette's and I am single. Does that mean I don't want a girl? not at all, but I *do* have a vision of what I want and that does not include "any random girl", but a girl with specific attributes that have very little to do with looks. Obviously, if I could find a supermodel holding what I am looking for, I wouldn't be crying in despair believe me lol but she does not have to be a super model at all costs. There's a lot of stuff needed to make anything work, from a marriage to a bespoke software system, and they all involve the same things. Because those things are at the core of us and that is what we need to fork out if we want to be happy - or at least be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and say "hey, I'm cool" Tentative.gif Andrew
I have had a skype job interview last Thurs.
Ok, many will just say "so what?", others will say "cool", but there's generally very little exceptional in an interconnected world. The interesting thing, however, is that I have Tourette's and this poses interesting challenges in a job interview.
As many of you probably know, being a tourettic can't be hidden. Unlike other diseases, we do bark routinely so... well... it's a tad hard to hide, you know Tentative.gif

But this is not the fear I want to talk about. It's rather a much more common one, it's the fear of new things. As a few of you will probably know, I am from Italy and I can't find a decent job here. It's been a few years that I keep applying for jobs in the UK and that's what I was interviewed for. One of those job advertisers did indeed show interest in me.

He showed interest to the point of scheduling the interview and actually bring it on to completion, ultimately adding me to the short list of candidates.

The worst part of job interview is not the actual moment it's attended, rather what goes next, i.e. what you do or do not and that might affect the outcome.

I have spent 10 years of my life travelling around Italy for work, but it still is Italy. Same language, conventions, culture.

Going abroad faces totally new challenges to me, although familiar, because I have had many opportunities to travel abroad for leisure.

But, then again, that was leisure. Leisure is temporary by definition. You eventually go back home, ya know. Work isn't like that: there's no home to go to if you get what I mean.

And the fear builds up. Fear makes you do stupid, really stupid things. Or maybe not.
Maybe it's a chance. If you acknowledge it is there - if you're honest about it.
There's nothing wrong in being scared like hell about new things: when the phone
technology came on the market, many considered it evil - not because of some specific or substantiated reason, but ultimately because it was new.

So I had been barking throughout the interview, twitching and grunting like any good tourettic should be doing lol and he commented that after all it wasn't all that bad, that he would nicely cope with it because volume wasn't too high etc.
He almost complimented me for being such a kind tourettic LMAO ok maybe not Tentative.gif lol but you get what I mean. And here comes the fear. The fear for new things, I started thinking of all the times I shout and bark loudly. I was about to send him an email highlighting these things, but then I stopped.

I stopped because I could recognize and ADMIT my fear.

Bloody hell, it's another country and it's normal to be scared to no end.

And immediately, other details about my shouts, my yells, my loud barks came to light.

Yes, I still do shout loud at times, but mostly when nobody is in the same room as I am. Mostly when the office is empty or almost empty.

I have coped with it before and I can still cope with it. My colleagues ALWAYS got used to me, provided that some time was given.

When they would get to know me, what *I* did disappeared. Melted away like snow when meeting sun.

This is how fear can help us: it tells us our inconfidence and if we acknowledte it, we will have done a great service to ourselves.

Learn to recognize your fear, because that's the way to strengthen yourself.

Oh, and, obviously, don't fear to comment :D I don't bite, promise :D

Hugs,

Andrew

Some news....

Ok so I bought the brand new 11lbs weights... I gave them a try just to see how my body would react... they're fine I think :-)

it's gonna be a hard workout from Monday on, but hopefully it'll be worth it :-)

This is for my nop :D

I can't tell you the deepness of my heart,

I can't tell you how you make me shine.

What I can tell you is that I love you,

marvellous friend,

shiny white cloud in a clear sky.

You're a part of my heart,

And I'm so proud to have a friend like you!

I know we'll eventually hug, dunno when, how or where.

I just know we will.

Wish I could make this now,

yet I know we will.

Love ya!

 

Andrew

Who I am

Hello everyone!

 

I'm a nice italian guy with a few passions: girls, writing, programming, photographs and others.

I really enjoy my passions and some of them have saved or significantly improved my life.

Programming in particular falls in the former category, the others in the latter.

I really enjoy writing erotic stories, poems and all sorts of writing and if you're lucky, I might be posting some on here very soon

For now, just a huge kiss to the girls and a handshake to the dudes!

 

Andrew

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