Sinner's blog: "Deacon and Devil"

Faith Do I have any faith? That is a interesting question isn't it? A question to ask ourselves, do we have it and in what or who? I have to admit I don't know if I have a lot of faith. I have been watching one, checking her out slowly as is my way. I am not sure what to think sometimes. I wonder if it is just me, or is it somthing more? Still being a Devil I will watch with hunger and desire, being a deacon I will refrain until I am sure. Self Discipline is a wonderful thing, but so is Devine Decadence...to surrender to temptation when everything else tells you its the stupid thing to do. A submissive has to have self discipline,a nd has to surrender. One moment seeking out the desires of a Master she wishes to please, the next facing reality and what is right for the long term. Is this some one you will want to take out to the bar? Is this someone you can play with, work with, some one who is your partner, your friend and you lover in the savage desires of wild need? Faith...will she have it in you even if you don't really deserve it? Can she trust your heart even if she cannot trust your spirit when it comes to her tender mercies? Faith that the throw of my whip is to better her, or please me? Faith that my punishments and projects have a greater lesson, or just are a means to give us both joy? Faith..I don't have a lot of faith. I want to see what I am doing is working. I want to know that the little one under my hand is mine and not someone elses when my back is turned. I want to know that if I use my whip, it is not only a moments string to saite until the next fall from someone elses welts her desires...faith.. Deacon

Why the Deacon and Devil? Hello there, if you are one of those who decided to come and look into my little dark world. Yes I said dark, and no I am not just another silly male gothic dude that thinks dark is wearing trendy clothing that happens to be dark. So what is dark? I think I was just like every one else before. I used to be one of those people who found myself alone at night, lonely a little...I dunno tormented. There were so many things I was supposed to be, so many things I felt I needed to be in order to find that acceptence and so called Success in life. Working, drifting, searching the internet alone for that little sweet moment of connection with some one. I was never overly religous, but I am spiritual and feeling lost and alone was sending me down into my own abyss. My own success was found in embracing that daker aspect of myself. I am not a soft modern man, I am not metrosexual, nor am I biased against any others style or ways. I am of myself, my own man. That doesn't mean I am always arrogent or always have to be right, or even have the last word. I am my own man, I am comfortable with myself, so I need not judge others as critically as I would myself. I just don't think we are ment to be sad and alone under the light of TV or monitor. I think that the cold little lonesome place can be pushed away and should be at every oppertunity! We owe it to ourselves to have fun, to just say fuck it when we aren't sure and do the crazy little things, or big things,whatever makes the moment. Do things in the realm of your discipline, but don't make disciplines that work away from your goal of joy. submissives...find that there is joy in service. Not just the joy in being looked on kindly by those you serve, but in knowing that you did that which is pleasing and special. Don't offer a drink, bring a drink that is small and welcoming, it is a offering of friendship, of thanks for their friendship. Their drinking the drink has nothing to do with your gift of it. It is your offering that is important, not their responce. The more you put into the offering, the more it will mean to you to do it. Impomptu just because you treasure them.