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i cant deal with it

im so at a loss right now. my grandfather who was 83 died in his sleep last night. his was the rock of the family and its eating me up inside that hes gone. today has been a shock i never thought i wouldnt get to tell him goodbye either. how is it my two favorite grandparents died and i wasnt there and never got the chance to say that one last time i love you. the funeral will be hell we are to do a private graveside with only the immediate family. military honors and his masonic honors. no visitation etc. he didnt want it that way. we didnt speak to his only remaining sister and nieces and nephews. they tore the family apart and destoryed it when my great uncle died. my granddad said he didnt want them to know when he died and didnt want them around. i guess he never thought they would go in and steal from him and from us. my dad is the only amick heir. he should have gotten some of my greatgrandfathers rings etc from the lodge and it was taken from him. when i marry or if i marry my family line dies with me. over 200 years of my history is gone. how sad am i...damn what a fucked up world i have for a life..

UFC

So did anyone else see the UFC fight this past weekend and ponder the shit outta where all the blood came from on the mat? I was rather pissed as hell that they showed those shittin ass fights afterwards and didnt show the "bloodbath" so for anyone who hasnt figure out who it was or found the video here ya go. It was Sobral VS Heath http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2935691885007255067&q=Sobral+vs+Heath&total=2&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

Three Men

This is rather straight forward, and gives a perspective that never occurred to me. Did anybody happen to notice yesterday the picture God painted for us as we watched the events of the week unfold on every news station around the world. The portrait of three men's lives shown clearly through the events of their deaths. One a wise man, one a foolish man and one a wicked man. Three men captured the world's attention by their lives and their deaths. Their funerals spoke volumes about the course of life they had chosen to pursue with the few short years God had granted to them. Yesterday, God opened the Book of Proverbs and showed the world the truths contained in His sacred Word. All three men, President Ford, James Brown and Sadam Hussein had choices in their destiny. Today they have all three stood in front of the God of this universe with those choices unveiled and judged. God allowed us to see three men yesterday. President Gerald Ford, a man whose faith in God and service to his country was eulogized by many speakers during the solemn and dignified ceremonies which marked his passing. A man of character and integrity, not perfect but made righteous by his faith in Jesus Christ. It was in this righteousness he lived out his life as a servant to his fellowman and his country. Great men and dignitaries attended his funeral. All coming to pay respect and honor to a man most deserving. James Brown also was eulogized in a funeral ceremony befitting his life choices. There was blaring rock music, gyrating bodies, costumes, and great sensual displays of revelry to portray the contribution this man had given through his life to his fellowman. He lived a life of drugs, alcohol, immorality and rock music. He was heralded the father of Rap music and the inspiration of Michael Jackson's greatness. His funeral with all of it's theatrics was befitting the excess of waste his life portrayed. Then we had the gruesome hanging of Sadam Hussein. His death as gory as his life. A brutal murderer and dictator, hung by his neck and secreted away in the middle of the night to an unmarked grave. Thousands of Iraqis celebrated his death for through his life he had brought untold misery and death to many. A man so wicked that it seemed the world breathed a collective sigh of relief at the pronouncement of his death. Three men, three men who left their mark on the entire world, three famous men. All three have now stood before their Creator to answer for the choices they made in their life as you and I will someday. There is only one choice and Gerald Ford's life exemplifies the nobility of choosing to walk in harmony with The Creator through the acceptance of Jesus Christ as his Redeemer. James Brown choose to walk in the flesh. His life's work glorified the flesh and his death magnified the flesh. Sadam Hussein choose evil. He was a narcissistic megalomaniac. His life glorified evil and his death was gruesome. This all played out in one day. God painted a great picture for mankind to see. I pray people got His message.
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