im so at a loss right now. my grandfather who was 83 died in his sleep last night. his was the rock of the family and its eating me up inside that hes gone. today has been a shock i never thought i wouldnt get to tell him goodbye either. how is it my two favorite grandparents died and i wasnt there and never got the chance to say that one last time i love you. the funeral will be hell we are to do a private graveside with only the immediate family. military honors and his masonic honors. no visitation etc. he didnt want it that way. we didnt speak to his only remaining sister and nieces and nephews. they tore the family apart and destoryed it when my great uncle died. my granddad said he didnt want them to know when he died and didnt want them around. i guess he never thought they would go in and steal from him and from us. my dad is the only amick heir. he should have gotten some of my greatgrandfathers rings etc from the lodge and it was taken from him. when i marry or if i marry my family line dies with me. over 200 years of my history is gone. how sad am i...damn what a fucked up world i have for a life..
