sometimes, i read peoples' profiles, and really like the idea of a "serious short term relationship" or being a third addition to a couple, and sometimes i even like the idea of picking up a guy just to have someone to spend the night with.
but really, i want to be happily married. i cant let my fantasies about being open minded collide with the reality that i want to be solidly, permanently, unconditionally loved.
it cant happen for at least a year though, its just not in the cards for me. as lonely as i get, i have to struggle through it, and this is going to sound sappy and morbidly religious, but sometimes when i'm really lonely i go to God cause i know He will never leave me (and for all you cynics out there that dont believe... if something doesnt exist, by definition, it cant leave) and i just imagine Him holding me in the way i want to be held and comforting me.
That, my friends, is what gets me through every damned lonely night that i have to have for the next 10 1/2 months.
