Millie's blog: "So Depressing; Annoying"

Okay This is within Trillian, trillian is an Instent Messenger Servous that allows afew other Messenger servers to be all in one area, the one i have is for YIM, MSN, AOL, and ICQ. i used to have icq but had to delete it, i dont have aol, but i do have MSN and YIM. the reason for me to get trillian is because of my MSN fuxing up. And thats why i have it, no idea why im explaing why maybe cuz of the Time stamps. LMAO, but anywho.

They guy that im talking to is an "old" friend, thats not really a friend anymore cuz of his abusiveness of how others are different in their own lifestyles, and no this isnt the first time this type of convo happened this confo happened May 6, 2009 around 10-11am (check time stamp, its in millitary time i think). This convo is the 2nd convo with him about how i should live my life, as you can see im stubbern, LMAO!

[09:19] guardianengel4ever: haveu learned anything bout the way the world works yet or not
[09:19] *** Auto-response sent to guardianengel4ever: I am currently away from the computer.
[10:08] millicent_the_catiulan: heh?
[10:17] guardianengel4ever: i asked if u ha
[10:17] guardianengel4ever: d learned anything in the time that has past
[10:18] guardianengel4ever: or not
[10:18] guardianengel4ever: ?
[10:19] millicent_the_catiulan: about what?
[10:19] guardianengel4ever: since we last spokeu learnedanything
[10:19] millicent_the_catiulan: about life, yeah alot of death
[10:20] guardianengel4ever: and what but having fun
[10:20] millicent_the_catiulan: as in sex?
[10:21] guardianengel4ever: yes
[10:21] guardianengel4ever: by ur reactioni tak that as a no
[10:22] millicent_the_catiulan: lmao
[10:23] guardianengel4ever: whenu do perhaps well find rsn to talk
[10:23] millicent_the_catiulan: rsn?
[10:24] guardianengel4ever: before when we last spoke u had no sense of fun or excitement in sucha nature, n byurwords now i doubt any change n such since.
[10:25] millicent_the_catiulan: LMAO i have fun, just im picky of who to have fun with
[10:25] guardianengel4ever: yes...n u once wanted to with me..
[10:25] guardianengel4ever: ur old buddy engel
[10:26] guardianengel4ever: but was too shy n stubborn
[10:26] millicent_the_catiulan: LMAO still shy n stubborn
[10:26] guardianengel4ever: that unfortunate
[10:26] guardianengel4ever: u n i coudlahad such fun
[10:26] millicent_the_catiulan: how so?
[10:29] guardianengel4ever: well u ko how i be..i enjoy play, n thus openingpple to more fun things n trying new things
[10:29] guardianengel4ever: yet u didnt wish to
[10:29] millicent_the_catiulan: its not who i am, engel
[10:29] guardianengel4ever: n thus why its no fun
[10:30] guardianengel4ever: cuz without funwe r simply dull and boring n thus the norm becomes regular  dull n wewo
[10:30] millicent_the_catiulan: i am fun just when i chose to have fun
[10:30] guardianengel4ever: would fade away
[10:32] guardianengel4ever: so i see u wish to fade away in thedullness of the norm
[10:33] millicent_the_catiulan: LMAO
[10:33] guardianengel4ever: well u have haventchanged haveu now...point proven
[10:33] guardianengel4ever: thus the norm n dull
[10:35] millicent_the_catiulan: no i like being safe then sorry
[10:35] guardianengel4ever: pity...becuzsafeisntalwaysthe fun..safe often is boringn meaningless n routine
[10:36] millicent_the_catiulan: no im safe cuz i dont want to get pregnant by someone who doesnt love n such of me... and i dont want any stds... rather if its online or offline
[10:36] guardianengel4ever: oh yes onlinepregnancys r so common nowadays
[10:36] guardianengel4ever: lol
[10:36] millicent_the_catiulan: LMAO
[10:37] millicent_the_catiulan: you know what i ment
[10:37] guardianengel4ever: u said it...i interpretted..n so what hamr is a lil funonline when those thoughts rnt there or the fears ofwhat couldhappen in real not be there
[10:38] guardianengel4ever: correct? or am i wrongn now pplecan cum n sendit throug hhte online waves
[10:38] millicent_the_catiulan: i know the difference between online and offline. but its still not going to change my answer.
[10:39] guardianengel4ever: pity..u n i couldahad great fun
[10:39] guardianengel4ever: if only ud open ur eyes outside black and white
[10:39] millicent_the_catiulan: lmao you keep saying that
[10:39] guardianengel4ever: yes cuz im not the only one that said that...u did too before
[10:39] guardianengel4ever: jus using that same statement
[10:39] millicent_the_catiulan: thats funny i see color >.> not black and white... thats just interesting
[10:40] guardianengel4ever: i livein grey..the inbetween its more fun where there is nothing u cannot do, n things u can do if u like
[10:40] guardianengel4ever: but the colors r all simplywill be black..while grey will alwaysbeinbetween
[10:40] guardianengel4ever: so u be a color that will fade to black..
[10:40] guardianengel4ever: ill stay righthere in middle of darkness and light...
[10:41] guardianengel4ever: what a lil disenchanted lifethat mustbe u have
[10:41] millicent_the_catiulan: i live my morals and knows of coniquince
[10:42] guardianengel4ever: how boring
[10:43] millicent_the_catiulan: says you
[10:43] guardianengel4ever: says onewho has livedthat life and wanted to smother himself before he could live another dya in such repressed boredom
[10:44] guardianengel4ever: so yes...says me..sum1 who knows that path and wanted to simply scream everyday that he lived it for sumthn better
[10:45] millicent_the_catiulan: would rathter not go by that... and live my life the way i wish.
[10:46] guardianengel4ever: sounds boring withthe life u lived n iveheard of thus faru talk boutin past we spokeof...one if i could of i would probably bled to kni was actually alive
[10:48] millicent_the_catiulan: the only thing im going to agree on is that you cant accept the fact that i dont feel like living the life you do. and i refuse to change my mind.
[10:49] guardianengel4ever: as i said u havent changed..no more fun then a domesticated peice of livestock
[10:49] guardianengel4ever: waiting for slaughter
[10:50] millicent_the_catiulan: you have the black and white scale, you just dont like when other people change and not be like you.
[10:50] guardianengel4ever: lol cuz thepple like me never embracedthe black n white n livedin the  grey cuz its the one place in the worrld without consequence, and freedom
[10:51] guardianengel4ever: ur the prude n priss luv
[10:51] millicent_the_catiulan: no not really
[10:52] guardianengel4ever: ur the shyone
[10:52] guardianengel4ever: the one that cant do anythingelse unless byur lil rules and religions..yes a prude
[10:52] guardianengel4ever: and priss
[10:52] guardianengel4ever: and cocktease and nothing more
[10:53] guardianengel4ever: mustbe like a dead fish in bed
[10:53] millicent_the_catiulan: LMAO
[10:53] millicent_the_catiulan: you know nothing about me
[10:54] guardianengel4ever: i kno enough bout ur personality to kno what u r likeotherwise..
[10:54] millicent_the_catiulan: and since i refuse to do anything with you, your being rude... and speaking of truths you have followed
[10:54] guardianengel4ever: n no rsn u have given to ever doubt such or define u otherwise
[10:54] guardianengel4ever: so yes...mustbe cobwebs downthereby now
[10:54] millicent_the_catiulan: engel, thats only in your head and what i show you
[10:54] millicent_the_catiulan: that doesnt mean that its true or not.
[10:55] guardianengel4ever: then prove it
[10:55] guardianengel4ever: yet we both kno u wontcuz u cant
[10:55] millicent_the_catiulan: i dont need to prove it to anybody of whom i am
[10:55] guardianengel4ever: so..point proven
[10:55] guardianengel4ever: exactly
[10:55] guardianengel4ever: point proven
[10:55] millicent_the_catiulan: no its called freedome of choise of a free willed person.
[10:55] guardianengel4ever: u were a priss ondamned
[10:56] guardianengel4ever: n haventchanged
[10:56] millicent_the_catiulan: thats what the statue of liberty means
[10:56] millicent_the_catiulan: i get to act and talk the way i wish
[10:56] millicent_the_catiulan: and being instaulting isnt always a good thing to do
[10:56] millicent_the_catiulan: this convo is finished.
[10:56] guardianengel4ever: lol yes n u live as if sumone that is happiness by normal slavery
[10:56] millicent_the_catiulan: end of story
[10:56] *** guardianengel4ever has been ignored.

Im very stubbern when it comes down to other people telling me how to live my life, heres a big hint, DONT DO IT!... I live my life the way i see fit not my others standpoints.. i dont even like it when my own family does it, why should i let someone else online or offline the pc, to tell me how to live my life? would you? so when i got done getting tired of being abused.. cuz thats what it is, i know what he was trying to pull and it wont work with me, it has happened before not only by him but by others, as soon as they "changed" my mind they would "rape" me, as i said, it has happened before. I live my life the way I SEE FIT, and if any of you rude or whatever people want to be rude and mean about how i do things then FUCK YOU. MY LIFE MY RULES! you dont like it... see the door!

btw i can rant and rave about this some more but, then you wont beable to read it.. besides i can always edit it. but i hope you get what my point is. happy readings...and yes commits are welcomed but rude ones, they will be deleted.