That we may be known by the company we frequent, has become proverbial. For, when unrestrained, we are prone to choose and associate with those whose manners and dispositions are agreeable and congenial to ours. Hence, when we find persons frequenting any company whatsoever, we are disposed to believe that such company is congenial with their feelings, not only in regard to their intellectual capacities and accomplishments, but also their moral disposition and their particular manner in life.
Good company not only improves our manners, but also our minds; for intelligent associates will become a source of enjoyment, as well as of edification. If they be pious they will improve our morals; if they be polite they will tend to improve our manners; if they be learned they will add to our manners; if they be learned they will add to our knowledge and correct our errors. On the other hand, if they be immoral, ignorant, vulgar, their impress will most surely be left upon us. It therefore becomes a matter of no trivial concern to select and associate with proper company, while avoiding that which is certainly prejudicial.
We should always seek the company of those who are known to possess superior merit and natural endowments; for then, by being assimilated in manners and disposition, we rise. Whereas, by associating with those who are our inferiors in every respect, we become assimilated with them, and by that assimilation become degraded. Upon the whole much care and judgment are necessary in selecting properly that company which will be profitable. Yet this is not a point of so great interest among women as men; because they are not necessarily thrown into associations of such diversity of character as the latter. Nevertheless, the greater care and prudence are requisite to women, should they happen in such circles, to avoid the pernicious influence of such associations, to which many are too prone to yield.
The reflection is pleasing, that it is in the power of all to acquire an elegance of manner, although they may be deprived of the advantages to be derived from a liberal education. At least they may attain to that degree of elegance and manners, by judicious selection of company, that will render them pleasing in any social circle, whether at home or abroad. This will excite interest, which will grow into respect; from which always springs that pure ardent and affectionate attachment which alone forms the only generous and indissoluble connection between the sexes; that which the lapse of time serves only to confirm, and nought but death can destroy.
If so much importance be attached to the prudent selection of company and associates, and if this be of such vital interest to every young female, how careful should she be not to take to her bosom for life a companion of dissolute habits and morals. Such an act might destroy all the domestic felicity she might have hoped to enjoy, and be a source of constant sorrow to her through life.
For no connection or friendship can be fond and lasting, where a conformity of inclination and disposition does not exist; but where this exists, all passions and finer feelings of the soul gently harmonize, and form one common and lasting interest.
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(End Quote)
I chose to post this segment because of a MuMM I encountered. There is a remarkable level of transposition between people who choose to interact with one another. People are osmotic creatures. We absorb our surroundings and there is a tendency to herd and group en mass around activities, cultural trends, and ideals.
There are a number of things in this segment that I disagree with. I don't understand how superior company can be sought by all while allowing for progress. If we all seek only those of higher "stature" than our own, what of those below us that seek to improve themselves by associating with us? Are they not lower than us?
There are flaws to be found everywhere. However, the value I find in this segment is within the way we choose who we will interact with. We do absorb our surroundings and often enough people will take on traits to impress or fit in with a group of individuals.
I was having a discussion with a friend of mine today. We were talking about the ways in which people choose to fight with one another in the MuMMs here on Fubar. She chose to leave the MuMMs today because she found the flow of conversation to be too mean for her taste and left. We went on to talk about what it is like to lower ourselves to that level of interaction and how we feel or might feel if we participated in it.
I quite often choose not to participate in the MuMMS at all when I find it meaningless or without substance. Often enough the interactions which we choose to engage in on the internet are entirely emotionally driven. People take out their aggressions on others and vent their desire to be vulgar and unpleasant at will here. I believe it to be caused by a lack of a constructive way to do this within the realm of their physical and tangible lives.
People seek the company of those who resonate with their own causes. MuMMers are people who enjoy a specific type of interaction. There are different types of people who MuMM and they tend to group together in their own ways, sharing what they feel is valuable to one another and taking what they feel are traits which are valued by the group they come to value.
It is my belief that a person should be always conscious of the tendency to absorb your surroundings. A strong willed individual might prevent much transposition of undesirable characteristics. Any individual might simply choose not to go into a place that is filled with unhealthy or nonconstructive entities. Or perhaps leave a place that becomes filled with them.
Often an individual will choose to accept things which don't resonate with their own heart in order to ward off the oppressive force of solitude. I would say that it is better to be alone in the cold dark than to seek shelter in the den of animals, lest you become an animal yourself.
I suppose it depends on what you value in life.
