hotrodguy's blog: "colorado"

WOMAN'S POEM Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. MAN'S POEM I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a crap.

It's that time of year again that we all love! >> ======================================= >> >> WINTER IN COLORADO >> Dear Diary: >> >> >> AUG. 1 >> Moved to our new home in Denver. It is so beautiful >> here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it >> covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE >> >> OCT. 14 >> Denver is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves >> are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and >> orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. >>They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on e >>arth. This >> must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE. >> >> NOV. 11 >> Deer season will open soon. I can not imagine anyone >> wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol >> of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT >> HERE. >> >> DEC. 2 >> It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed >> in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned >> snow off the steps and shoveled the drive way. We had >> a snowball fight today (I won).When the snowplow came by >> we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. >> Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE. >> >> DEC. 12 >> More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick >> again that rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE. >> >> DEC. 19 >> Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to >> get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. >> Damn Snowplow! >> >> DEC. 22 >> More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on >>my >> hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around >> the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That asshole!!! >> >> DEC. 25 >> "White Christmas" my busted ass. More snow. If I ever get >> my hands on that son-of-a-bitch! who drives that snowplow, >> I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why >> they don't use more salt on this freaking ice! >> >> DEC. 28 >> More of the same shit last night . Been inside since Christmas >> day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go >> anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white shit. >> The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this shit >> tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 >> inches is? >> >> JAN. 1 >> Happy freaking New Year My Ass!!. The weatherman was >> wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 inches of snow this time. At this >> rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got >> stuck down the road and shit for brains had the balls to >> come t o the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him >> I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the shit he plowed >> into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his head. >> >> JAN. 4 >> Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get >> food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car >> and I hit the damn deer. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the >> car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November. >> >> MAY 3 >> Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe >> the body is rotting away from all the Crap they keep dumping >> All over the roads. It really looks like a piece of shit. >> >> MAY 10 Moved to Florida today. I can not imagine why anyone in their right mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of Colorado.