ShadowedSphinx's blog: "Civility and Courtesy"

I saw a MUMM regarding someone shot by his father; apparently the person broke into his aunt's home, burgled it, then when confronted by his father threatened him with a knife.  The question was basically should everyone get rid of firearms or keep what they have.

Regulations vary depending upon jurisdiction by some concepts don't, if you're waiting for the police to save your life you may be vastly disappointed unless one of them lives next door and is home exactly when you need them and they can psychically sense your need (good luck on that).

Some people prey upon others, the reasons vary with the predator, but I tend to doubt those who predate will give up their weapon of choice simply because we ask them to do so.  In a perfect world, maybe, but I don't live in that world.

My father taught me to show others at least the minimum courtesy and respect I would hope to receive from them and I do so.  I was taught that respect and courtesy extends to the property of others as well, which I still hold do.  I was also taught to understand some people just don't care and to be prepared.

A small town I lived in not so long ago had a local news item.  Four males between 15 and 20 years of age broke into a man's home, their fourth robbery of the night.  The man was home and heard the noise, he also had a loaded shotgun, went to the front of the house where the criminals had a flashlight lit while looking around for what to take.  The man ordered them to get out, twwo started to approach him.  One died instantly, the other while in transport, the other two ran out the door and were later captured, tried, and sent to prison.

It doesn't matter whether I think the man was right or wrong, I wasn't there.  I will say if I found myself in a similar circumstance I would probably react the same way.  It is instinctive for us to defend our homes, our families, and our lives.

Would I advise anyone to depend on the mercy of those intent to commit a crime?  No.

Would I prefer it if the police were always able to respond in a timely manner?  Yes.

Would it be nice to live in that perfect world where criminals never harm anyone, the police are all nice, and there's never a problem?  I have no answer as I've never lived in that perfect world.

I will say it will be a great day when some people quit believing they should be able to commit whichever crime they wish without consequence.

I saw a cute bumpersticker on the ride I just got back from: "America is Freedom of Speech, if you don't like it get the *expletive deleted* out!"

Nice sentiment I'm certain but there is such a thing as discretion regarding other people's rights and sensibilities.  If you don't like what I write, if you don't agree with it you can ignore it, yet if I follow you around to make sure I can use my "right" to free speech on you whether you like it or not I can get arrested on a variety of charges.

Discretion or Darwin Award -- case in point.  I once worked with a lovely lady (she had a beautiful smoky singing voice) and she related how her brother had been arrested and tried for murder.

According to the prosecutor the "victim" was a sweet innocent young man unfairly cut down too young by a heartless beast, leaving the "victim's" loving family bereft of its sole wage earner.

According to the police record the "victim" had been arrested numerous times for: possession of drugs, possession of controlled substances with intent to distribute, battery, assault, armed robbery, rape, aggravated assault.

According to witnesses, the "victim" went to the defendent's home with a 9 mm semi-auto pistol stuck behind his belt.  The defendent and family had guests over and the "victim" had not been invited.  The "victim" proceeded to tell the defendent he owned him and his family, went into graphic detail about what he was going to do to the defendent's wife and daughters, then told him there was nothing the defendent could do about it because he was owned.  The defendent told the "victim" to leave and not come back and the "victim" refused.

The defendent went inside his house, asked one of the guests to call 911, then went back outside with a loaded 12 guage shotgun which he kept pointed up in the air.  The defendent told the "victim" to leave again, the "victim" replied with an expletive and pulled his 9 mm from behind his belt and pointed it at the defendent.  The defendent told the man to put the pistol away and the victim fired a shot into the ground at the defendent's feet.  The "victim" ran afoul of a load of buckshot as he was raising his pistol.

The jury deliberated for ten minutes and reached a verdict of "Not Guilty", the "victim's" family tried to sue for Wrongful Death and lost.

Did the "victim" have a right to free speech?  Of course. 

Did the "victim's" right to free speech override everyone else's right to not have to listen?  Obviously not.

Did the defendent once acquited walk out of the courtroom laughing?  No, the man kept repeating how he wished the cops could have gotten there earlier or kept the "victim" away from his home.

So whenever people want to scream about "...you have to listen to me you have no choice..." they need to stop to actually think about how actions always have consequences, and often enough those consequences can be fairly severe.

I've noticed many changes since I came back to FuBar after a long hiatus, some good and other not so good.  One thing I've noticed is some people get blocked and then want to point fingers like a ten-year-old and "this person deletes comments and blocks people" as it's a magical mantra which excuses the person doing the pointing.  Since this site is inteded for adults one would think as adults each of us woulld understand why someone might have their comments deleted from someone else's profile page, MUMM, or blog -- as I've seen it just isn't that simple.

The reason why some people can't understand why they get blocked boils down to a failure to accept that other people are deserving of simple common courtesy, and the minimum of respect needed for a, well, civil society to exist.  Yet so often those who scream the most about how their freedom to say what they want was denied don't realize their freedom to express themselves stops where the next person's freedom of eexpression begins.  This is why no matter how much fun someone might think it is to stand up in a packed theatre and scream "FIRE!" that person, if caught, will get arrested.

Similarly, if I walk into someone else's home, and start making vulgar inflammatory statements to them, their spouse, their children, disregarding any of their sensibilities or their right to not have me make such statements to or about them in their home, it would be no surprise to me if I got stomped, kicked out, and had the police called and a complaint filed against me.  In short, I have no right to treat people that way.  Similarly, those people do not have the right to come into my home and treat me in that fashion.

Oddly enough though, America does not have a very "Civil" society, just as other countries have their lacks as well (nobody is perfect, not me, not you, it simply doesn't happen).  Too many Americans have the idea their "Freedom of Speech" means they can say anything they want, to whomever they want, whenever they want, with no repercussions -- and they are wrong.  None of us has the right to incite a riot, none of us has the right incite a lynching, none of us has the right to drive another person to committ suicide, but many Americans feel they do have those rights, and there should be no repercussion for them.

Sadly, some of those who whine the most about their "rights" being infringed upon will howl the loudest if they are accorded the same treatment of disrespect and discourtesy they accord others.  Whether it's a 45 year-old, a 25 year-old, a 35 year-old, male or female, acting and speaking like a wilfull child who just learned their first vulgarism is simply, pathetic.  It isn't cute, it isn't funny, it isn't attractive.  It is the kind of behavior which gives all of us a bad reputation in other countries, whether we are guilty of such behavior or not.

Do we have to agree with everything everyone else says or thinks?  No.  It is possible to disagree without making childishly vulgar comments, it's called a repsonse, not an epithet.  It is also possible to go to the next page / MUMM / blog withoput saying anything.  There are many choices of how to disagree which do not entail provocation of others.

The reason I mention this at all is because some people believe they are totally anonymous while "playing" on the internet and rthere is no way their actions could come back to haunt them, and sadly they are wrong.  You never know when someone passing you on the street might recognize you from a photo, or no someone who can track your IP Address, or who works for a governmental agency.  And yes, sites like FuBar do get monitored, by a lot of agencies.

So next time someone (who is supposedly an adult) is complaining about someone else being too thin-skinned and needing to go do whatever (because they got blocked by the person for being childishly vulgar), they might want to consider exactly what they're asking for sooner or later.  I've seen people swallow their teeth for not closing their mouth when others got tired of the abuse and asked them politely to be quiet.