Lacey's blog: "Christmas With Louise"

You Can Only Type One Word. Not as easy as you might think. Now copy and paste into your blog and tag 5 ppl to do the same. Leave a comment to let us know you have done it, AND LEAVE THEM A COMMENT TO LET THEM KNOW THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED. It's really hard to only use one-word answers! 1. Where is your cell phone? nope 2. Your significant other? mmmmm 3. Your hair? brown 4. Your mother? Betty 5. Your father? Jim 6. Your favorite thing? chocolate 7. Your dream last night? none 8. Your favorite drink? Diet Coke 9. Your dream/goal? Happiness 10. The room you're in? office 11. Music? classic~rock 12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive 14. Where were you last night? home 15. What you're not? rich 16. Muffins? carrot 17. One of your wish list items? convertable 18. Where you grew up? Ottawa 19. The last thing you did? slept 20. What are you wearing? tshirt 21. TV? Yes 22. Your pets? George 23. Your computer? compaq 24. Your life? quiet 25. Your mood? Calm 26. Missing someone? yes 27. Favorite Store? Home Depot 30. Your summer? hot! 31. Like someone? Yes 32. Your favorite color? lavender 33. When is the last time you laughed? today 34. Last time you cried? Yesterday I TAG........ XTC,CRYWOLF,ROOSTER,MIC, RYDZ

Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion f*cking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to atravelling freak show. And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you,and everyone to whom you send 'his' email, $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day! What a bunch of bullsh*t. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour. F*ck 'em!! If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times.. I don't f*cking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email. (ROFLMBOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG TOO FUNNY !! ) Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and consume your genitals. Have a nice day. Billy Connolly P.S: Send me 15 bucks and then f*ck off

My dear friend DJ Lost went offline today. I will MISS HIM SO MUCH. NEVER TELL ME that you can't love someone's heart...........even if you have never met. You can. I will STAND by that. I will miss you darlin'. Take care of you and that beautiful wife and baby. Hurry back. When I told him I had tears..... he wrote the following. Oh dear Lacey never use your tears on me, a tear fallen in the name of joy or sadness shalt never brush your cheek, for within you stands a woman who has no need for tears, she knows that in the end it all works out the way it should, a tear for every single happy thought would dry a normal person out. So instead of using a tear to remember the happy times, hold them deep in your heart, and use them to fight the sorrows that accompany a separation. YES the tears to help keep moist the muscles that can one day re-open your arms to embrace the departed back into your world I WILL MISS YOU DARLIN! HURRY BACK !! XOXOX

Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I’m a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you’re even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we’re stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I’ve been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I’m an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time. 3. Clumsiness: Unless you’re subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It’s completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock. 4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening’s debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You’ve been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don’t know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership. Thank you, Your biggest fan. P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more beer for me. 3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type. 4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight? 5. Oh, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.

When I say I love you, this is what I am telling you... I will always protect you and protect your heart. I will always stand beside you no matter what. I will not leave you for bad finances, poor health, or heartache. I will do my level best to make you as happy as I possibly can, each and every day. I will always be on your side, no matter who it is that is opposing you, including family. I will do my level best to honour you and your family every day. I will never say things to you to hurt you on purpose. I will never take the confidences that you have entrusted to me and hurt you with them. I will hold and protect your heart as if it were my very own, because, in fact, it is. I will rejoice with you in your success and mourn with you at the failures life brings. I will make your welfare and happiness my priority each day. I will believe you and I will believe IN you every single day. I will understand when you have a bad day and I will love you through it. I will hold you when you cry. I will always respect you. I will rejoice with you when your heart is made glad. I will encourage you in all of your dreams and support you in acheiving all your goals. I will never hold you back. I will never tolerate anyone denegrading you in any way. I will trust you with my secrets and my hurts. I will trust you with my failures and give them to you for safekeeping, trusting that you will lock them away so that no one can use them as a weapon against me. I will allow myself to be vulnerable with you, so that you can see the real me, not the me that I show the world. I will hug you everyday, and make sure that I tell you that I love you every day, just in case, at some point in that day, you need to hear it and I am not beside you to tell you. I will hold you, just because I want to. I will give you kisses everyday. I will tell you when you are wrong, and help you to make it right, no matter what that takes. I will stand against your wrath, trusting the Lord that He will show you what it is you need to know. I will never belittle you, or make you feel small or worthless. I will never reject you. I will willingly and happily give up my life for you. I will never take your hurts and use them to hurt you all over again. I will honour you in all that I do every day. I will only ever speak well of you, because the times that I don't want to, are the times that you need me to protect you the most. I will make sure that you know that you are the most important person to me in my life, each and every day. I will do my best to live 1 Corinthians 13 every day. When you are old ,and can't do the things that you used to do, I will make sure you know that to me, you are still my knight in shining armour. And when you die, I will be beside to hold your hand as you meet your Saviour. Lacey

Dear Brad,On April 5th, the WakeUpWalMart.com campaign will celebrate three years of making Wal-Mart a more responsible company. As you know, it's been a grueling fight for substantive change at Wal-Mart. And, for all of the movement's success, we still have one question for you. Is Wal-Mart helping you "live better?" Your tax dollars are still subsidizing Wal-Mart's health care crisis. Your good jobs are still being shipped overseas so Wal-Mart can import over 70% of its goods from communist China. Your neighbors are still earning poverty-level Wal-Mart wages so America's richest family can line their pockets with Wal-Mart's $12 billion in profits. Are you living better yet? This year, we can't settle for anything less than real change from Wal-Mart. We know change won't come unless we work together to bring our campaign's message to new audiences in new ways. That's why we're launching the first in a series of new WakeUpWalMart.com videos: "Living Better." Please, do your part and pass it along. Watch "Living Better" and help us spread the word Consider this a taste of the year to come. In the coming months, you will see a series of bold new videos from WakeUpWalMart.com, all with one mission--to introduce consumers to the real Wal-Mart. Remember, we can't do that without your help. Supporters like you are the driving force behind the movement to change Wal-Mart. So, check out the video, and help us spread the word. Your action and our message can force Wal-Mart to change, and help forge a better America. Watch "Living Better" today and send the video to your friends Here's to round 4 in the fight to change Wal-Mart! And, as always, thanks for all that you do. The Team WakeUpWalMart.com

So very, very True !!! THE fubar RULES ONE If you're ugly, stop acting like you don't know it. The captions under you picture that says "top model pose" "sexy bitch" "arnt i hot" doesn't convince anyone. TWO To the people who have like 25,000 friends, are you serious? Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends. You're stupid. Go play in traffic. THREE Don't ever post pictures and say "OMG, I'm so ugly" "OMG,I'm so fat" because if you were, you wouldn't post them. FOUR Nobody cares about threats over the internet. Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard. Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded. FIVE Making 20 bulletins a day about how you have new pictures and begging people to comment on them is pathetic. Make the bulletin once if you have to, and those who actually care about you will comment on your pics. SIX If all your pictures look the same, don't post them all. Please put some variety in your pics. Nobody wants to see your face 8 different ways. SEVEN Who really gives a shit if I don't accept you as a friend? MOVE ON!!! Don't send me another request or message asking "what's up with you not adding me?" I don't want you as a friend; that's what's up! EIGHT Little 6th graders who have fubar and look like sluts, go somewhere else because nobody wants you here. NINE If you have decided to read this, you are a true fubar Friend. Real friends read their bulletins. TEN I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains (if they have them). ELEVEN And if you open a bulletin and it says something like "repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight," IT'S NOT REAL! QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!! This is a test to see how many people in your friends list actually pay attention to you. Copy and repost in your own bulletin as 11 rules of fubar.

AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, And notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back On the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, Since I'm going to be near the mailbox When I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, And see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, So I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, But first I need to push the Coke aside So that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, A vase of flowers on the counter Catches my eye--they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and Discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, But first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, But first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, But quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, Get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to Remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The car isn't washed The bills aren't paid There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter The flowers don't have enough water, There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, And I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, And I'll try to get some help for it, But first I'll check my e-mail.... Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, Because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

As most of you know, I have spent my summer at the cottage. As a result, there have been many visitors up here this year. Through sometimes painful, and, most often, funny experience, I have come up with a set of cottage rules. I hope you enjoy. Rules for Cottage Guests 1. After arriving at the cottage , unpacking, and grabbing a beer out of the fridge, it is not considered cool to look blankly at your host and say "Oh, did you want me to bring something?" 2. When you are fishing off of the dock, please be aware of your surroundings, and the people and animals near you. It doesn't count as "The Big One" when you have actually snagged the host's dog. Vet bill for removing the fishing hook from the dog's back $100.00 3. When canoeing, please be advised that not everyone thinks it is fun to tip the canoe and have them understand what a "near-death" experience actually feels like. 4. If after drinking 5 frozen margaritas, and downing 4 Ta-keel-ya shots, you are unable to manouver the single step into the cottage to use the bathroom, your alternative is NOT to fall flat on your ass, taking out an entire row of solar lighting and then peeing in the garden. It is funny tho. Cost to replace pissed on,broken lighting $75.00 5. Skinny dipping is an acceptable cottage activity. Running around naked, whooping and hollering while yanking down women's bathing suits, however, is NOT ! 6. Please be advised that cottage walls are thin. Therefore, if at 3 AM you scream " F**k me baby, make me your man-whore" expect to be teased about it the following day. This may be a good time for both parties involved to claim a drunken black-out. Won't make the teasing stop tho. 7. It is not considered good manners to take the host's t-bone steaks that they had been defrosting for dinner and try to make friends with that "adorable" Mama bear and her cubs you saw down the road on the drive in. 8. After dinner, "helping with the dishes" does not mean putting them all in a laundry basket and tossing them into the lake. Doesn't matter if it WAS the shallow part. 9. It really isn't considered funny when your host faints because you filled her fruit drawer in the fridge with worms,crayfish, half-grown tadpoles and other assorted things. Saying " I was just trying to keep the bait fresh" won't make matters any better. 10. You should not attempt to take your host's bed as your own. Shouting " SHOTGUN" won't work either. 11. Twister after a bean dinner is a bad bad bad idea. 12. Just because the host has sateltte TV doesn't mean it's "free porn for everyone's viewing pleasure"..... sheeeeeesh 13. If you are drunk enough to think that you can actually jump over the bonfire, the resulting burns on your ass, hospital bills and ridicule from fellow guests are your problem, not the host's responsibilty. 14. When you wander off on a hike in search of a moose, please do not come screaming back to the host's cottage with the bull moose trailing you because he likes you. What do we want with a bull moose in heat? Lose the moose before you come back to the cottage please. 15. Jumping on the picnic table with your pants around your ankles, and challenging everyone to join you in a peeing contest to see who can pee the farthest may work if everyone else is drunk.HOWEVER, if YOU are the only one drunk, it will result in pictures of that being blown up to poster size and distributed to family, friends and co-workers. Don't be surprised if it becomes a Christmas card as well. 16. Only your mother thinks you look good in a speedo. Really. Yup. REALLY 17. Crawling into your host's bed in the middle of the night, waking her up, farting loudly and asking" So whatcha say, wanna do it?" will not get you an invitation to return for another visit. 18. It is not your host's problem if you cannot manage your hangover. Throwing up on the kitchen table after breakfast is placed before you is totally unacceptable!! 19. It is your responsibility to ensure you have not left any stains from bodily fluids on the guest room floor. Please strip the bed before you leave. They just don't want to see the skidmarks, you know?? 20. Kissing the host goodbye DOES NOT involve your hand OR your tongue.Capish?????????? 21. Finally, make sure to thank your host for the wonderful time you have spent there. If you have broken anything, please, at least offer to replace or repair it. Failure to do so may result in evidence being presented to your wife or girlfriend of how GOOD a time you actually had.

Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister of Canada. Written by a housewife in New Brunswick to her Local newspaper, this is one ticked off lady. 'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since? Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from the nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they? And I'm supposed to care that a a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency. I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan. I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat. I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques. I'll care when the mindless zealots who blows themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs. I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting a home to hear about them when something happens. In the meantime, when I hear a story about a ANA soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care. When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care. When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care. And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and , you guessed it, I don't care!! And may I add: Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.' I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this. One last thought for the day: Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you: 1. Jesus Christ 2. The Canadian Soldier. 3. The British Soldier 4. The Dutch Soldier and 5. The American Soldier One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom. YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET ALL OF THEM. AMEN!