drill's blog: "Change of Pace"

Ok heres an update on how my grandmother is doing from my last blog (hell my only blog for that matter). My grandmother made it through surgery alright. They completed the triple bypass without any complications. When I left the hospital to come home for a lil bit she was showing good signs that she knows what is goin on around her (this is important cuz they are fearful she could have a stroke after having an operation like this). They said she seems to be breathing without the benefit of the respirator but she has to keep that in her until she can take deep breathes. Other then that its pretty much just a wait and see for the next day or so to see how she pulls through it all. We are hopeful to get her out of ICU by tomorrow but that all just depends on her really. The difficult part about her being in the ICU unit is the fact that the family only gets to go back there during certain designated times and only 2 ppl are allowed back at a time. Also there are only like 5 times a day we can go back there and each time frame is only a half hour long so as soon as you get back there you gotta get back out ya know. Its a pain in the ass but its only temporary. Well I gotta run so I can try to get some sleep. Thank you all for your well wishes and your prayers. I appreciate them very much.

Well I never write a blog and some of you are prolly thanking god for that seeing as how I am long winded and I have a real thing for the run on sentences and all but here goes. Yesterday my grandmother had a heartattack. This is her first heartattack she has ever had and things are not lookin so great. Of course we had the doctors come on out there and tell us all about what they had to do and such and one doctor said they should do surgery on Friday...one said they should do surgery today. Well the doctor who wants to wait til Friday apparently won the argument so we have to wait til then. She needs to have a triple bypass done on her heart cuz she had one artery completely closed off and two others in bad shape as well. The first doctor explained everything to us and wasn't real optimmistic. I woulda liked to have ringed that guy's neck. I mean why can we not get the "glass is half full" guy to come on out there and give us the run down of whats goin on and let us know how things will be just fuckin peachy ya know? Of course my grandfather is a very emotional guy and as soon as they start throwing out all the bad shit that could happen my grandfather breaks down into tears but tries to hide it behind his coffee cup as he takes sips from it. This made most of the rest of us just fall apart of course. We then had another meeting with another doctor while my grandpa was at the cafeteria to discuss how risky everything is with my grandma being a diabetic and at her age and such. My mother and I got put in charge of goin to the cafeteria to tell grandpa and the rest of the family. My mom fell apart in the elevator on the way up so I had to hold it all back and try to tell grandpa everything. Midspeech I just couldn't do it so I lost it (yea some rock I turned out to be there huh?). Well since last nite she had some trouble breathing this morning and so they put her on an oxygen mask to force the air down into her lungs. They moved her into critical care and pushed back her surgery til Friday cuz they think her breathing is stable now with the mask. I informed my daughter of everything last nite and she wouldn't come out of her room til this morning. She still has yet to really talk to me about it all except the general questions you get when you first break the news to someone. I just don't know what to do with her right now I mean cuz I'm a mess and now she's a mess....hell I dunno. I am on my way now to go see her at the hospital but I wanted somewhere to just let it all out and I guess thats the whole purpose of this stupid blog thingie...hell I dunno...thats what I am gonna use it for so fuck it. I have done alot in my 32 years and been through alot and always known that someday my grandparents would have these kinds of issues and someday pass but when faced with the reality of it all and seeing the chance that this could all come to happen fairly soon....I'm just not sure I am prepared for this reality