bigdlucia's blog: "cataracts removal"

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
Can you still help somehow?
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for our world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts

Every man would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

What is this illusion called?
The innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth

There'd be no more lives torn apart
And wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts

Every man would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas wish
This is my only lifelong wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list

my heart is shattered but yet it does not seem to matter, 

i love you across the miles but when i lost you i lost my smile ,

as i grow old , i want a lady of my own to love and hold,

no dates no sex no female company since 2011 don't i deserve a little bit of heaven??

is it wrong to long for sex and a wife when i been alone for amajority of my life??

my heritage has known rtoyalty and loyality on four sides a king on french irish , scottisn 

and even the english side the kings had queens for their brides,

is it so wrong that i want a queen for my own to sit by my side ??

a wife of my own to treat love adore and cherish to be my bride ???  

alas for the sad part no matter who i give love to they leave me my heart apart 

i wear my heart on a sleeve but want to believe i am not destined to be alone ...

is there such a thing ??? at one time i would have said yes but life doesn't go that way every time i think i find it try to make plans for it ,it eludes me and goes away this time it hurts a lot more than it has ever hurt me without the person i feel empty and useless i gave all my love only to have it rejected once more , just getting too old to keep starting over my dreams and hopes keeping getting crushed experiences like this are suppose to make you stronger but for me it just keeps getting worse. they say to tell people that you love them every day but somehow i think it pushes them away it seems to be that way in my case ,no matter how hard i fight to keep them they go away  wondering if my happily ever after will ever truly happen 

for those following my progress , right eye is done been tested now i just have to wait out the weight restrictions before going back to work , the cane that i have been using to feel the sidewalk has been put away for now , i have gained a lot of my sight back but not all of it , i am thankful for what i do have though , today i bought readers' glasses that are 2.50 in strength and sun glasses as well to protect they eyes , i am not taking anything for granted this time , i will treasure what i have , again ty for all the comments and support , you all have a place in my heart , thank you Dennis

surgery is scheduled for sept 8 @930 am to remove cataract since left eye was successfull i am confident about it still wish my brothers and sister would show support though after all i have been there for them , oh well iff they should nee4d me i will still be there for them after all that is what family is about right?? ty for the comments and support as always from Dennis

for those following this blog left eye is finally finished with drops , the vision is so much better it is awesome , now to get the right eye done and get back to work , making money :) i am going stir crazy not working. right eye is due September 8 , again thank you for the support as my real brothers and sister i guess don't care or are too busy to communicate with me :'(. oh well got to keep positive right?? again ty from Dennis 

got ther hearing tested today, just as i suspected hearing is down more :(  they want to do a cochlea implants but right now i am dealing with my eyes first . just call me bionic man soon lol got to have humor to deal with what i have had to deal with 

for those following this blog right eye is scheduled for surgery on sept 8 , i wish it was sooner as i am going  stir crazy from not working or working out as well because i am not suppose to do any strenuous things while the eye is healing , i am also not getting any extra money at this time either :( well thank you for the support and comments , Dennis 

went to get left eye checked great news !! the  vision in left eye is improved from 2200 to 22/30 , with that being said i will get the right eye done as well get it done and over with looking forwards to see a whole lot better !! ty again for all comments and support it means a lot to me , from dennis

for those following the surgery patch was removed today and the left eye is now clearer than the right when i wear the glasses it makes the left eye blurry , too early to tell but i think that is a good sign , will know more in a week , i am happy though again thanks for support and comments they mean a lot hugs from Dennis