JohnJohn Doing the Naked Hokey Pokey Tha's blog: "butt dust!"

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning." Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base, and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly', much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline,wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay" Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team. That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world. Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day! AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces. If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people on your address list, that aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity to brighten the day of those with us the least able, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process? A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them. You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward May your day, be a Shay Day, sunny today, tomorrow & always!

The Most Beautiful Rose!! The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read. Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, For the world was intent on dragging me down. And if that weren't enough to ruin my day, A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play. He stood right before me with his head tilted down And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!" In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, With its petals all worn - not enough rain, or too little light. Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a small smile and then shifted away. But instead of retreating he sat next to my side And placed the flower to his nose And declared with overacted surprise, "It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too. That's why I picked it; here, it's for you." The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors: orange, yellow or red. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need." But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, He held it mid-air without reason or plan. It was then that I noticed for the very first time That weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind. I heard my voice quiver; tears shone in the sun As I thanked him for picking the very best one. You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play, Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day. I sat there and wondered how he managed to see A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. How did he know of my self-indulged plight? Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight. Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see The problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the beauty in life, And appreciate every second that's mine. And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose And smiled as I watched that young boy, Another weed in his hand, About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

THANKS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO RESPONDED TO THE TWO FOR TUESDAY!! I HAVE AROUND 2OO FRIENDS I SENT IT TO EACH AND EVERYONE!! SHOWIN' YOU ALL SOME LOVIN'!! I GOT A LOT OF RESPONSES BACK AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT SOME OF YA'LL AIN'T RIGHT......AND ONE OF YOU PICKED #4!!YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! YOU REALLY AIN'T RIGHT LMAO!! SOME OF YOU PICKED ME!! *GRIN* AGAIN THANKS TO ALL MY GOOD FRIENDS!! I LOOK FORWARD TO SEND FUN STUFF TO ALL.. I HOPE SOME OF THE STUFF I SEND HAS NOT OFFENED ANYONE... JUST BEING ME AND HAVING FUN!! HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL!! JOHN & SHADOW

>This is funny - type out the sentence you end up with in the subject >line and >forward it to your friends. > > > Pick the month you were born: > > > > January--I kicked > > February--I loved > > March--I smoked > > April--I skated with > > May--I choked on > > June--I murdered > > July--I did the Macarena with > > August--I had lunch with > > September--I danced with > > October--I sang to > > November--I yelled at > > December--I ran over > > > > Pick the day (number) you were born on: > > > > 1-------a birdbath > > 2-------a monster > > 3-------a phone > > 4-------a fork > > 5-------a Mexican > > 6-------a gangster > > 7-------my cell phone > > 8-------my dog > > 9-------my best friends' boyfriend > > 10-------my neighbor > > 11-------my science teacher > > 12-------a banana > > 13-------a fireman > > 14-------a stuffed animal > > 15-------a goat > > 16-------a pickle > > 17-------your mom > > 18-------a spoon > > 19-------myself > > 20-------a baseball bat > > 21-------a ninja > > 22-------Chuck Norris > > 23-------a noodle > > 24-------a squirrel > > 25-------a football player > > 26-------my sister > > 27-------my brother > > 28-------an ipod > > 29-------a permanent marker > > 30-------a llama > > 31-------A homeless guy > > > > Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: > > > > White----------because I'm cool like that > > Black-----------because that's how I roll. > > Pink------------because I'm NOT a homosexual. > > Red------------because the voices told me to. > > Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want > > Green---------because I hate myself. > > Purple---------because I'm cool. > > Gray----------because I was drunk > > Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars > > Orange-------because I hate my family. > > Brown--------because I was high. > > Other-------because I'm a ninja. > > None--------because I cant control myself > > > > Now type out the sentence you made in the subject line and > > forward to your friends. > > > > And don't forget to send it back to the person that sent it >to you! BIGLING40>>> I SKATED WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL BECAUSE I'M COOL LIKE THAT!

Here's the rules of Lost Cherry Adoption.... Put in the subject "i'm for sale" and see who wants to own you. The first person to send u a COMMENT sayin "I own you" owns you. It's that simple... P.S. repost cause it is funny and surprising to see who gets you first See who picks you P.P.S New rule added by the repostie, the person can only be owned for 1 week :) (repost of original by 'angel~lette~' on '2006-10-15 18:14:16') (repost of original by 'smokey1701' on '2006-10-15 18:31:19') (repost of original by 'sexii' on '2006-10-15 18:37:23') (repost of original by 'Tally Ho Boy' on '2006-10-15 18:43:28')

There was this bar with a hump back bartender waiting on customers. In walks a guy with a hairlip.. Hairlip: how you doing sir? Humpback: fine sir and what can i get for you? Hairlip: how much is your VO? Humpback: that's $ 5.00 a shot. Hairlip: $ 5.00 a shot!! DAMN buddy that aweful high.. i can't afford that!! Hairlip: well how much is your gin? Humpback: $ 4.00 a shot. Hairlip: $4.00! $4.00! a shot are you out your fucking mind? I ain't paying that!! danm bubby!! you gotta do better than that... Hairlip: well how much is your beer? Humpback: $3.00 a glass. Hairlip: $3.00!! $3.00!!! a glass!! you must be fucking stupid!! Ain't no damn body going to pay that price for a beer!! Hairlip: well sir i can't buy anything in here but i just want you to know that I sure thank you for not making fun of me being a hairlip and all 'cause so many people do.. you have been a real gentleman!! Humpback: yes sir and i'm glad you did not make fun of me being a humpback. Hairlip: humpback!??! humpback!?? that's a hump on your back?? Damn bubby i thought that was your ass 'cause everything else is so high in here!!!

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and > said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like. " > The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the > doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was > a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of > stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth > water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. > They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with > very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each > found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, > but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not > get the spoons back into their mouths. > > The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. > > The Lord said, "You have seen Hell." They went to the next room and > > opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was > > the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy > > man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same > long-handled > > spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing > and > > talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand." " It is simple" > said > the > > Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each > > other, while the greedy think only of themselves." > > When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you! > If you are one of the 7% who will stand up for him > forward this w/ the title 7% > > 93% of people won't forward this...... I'm in the 7

How To Get Out of A Ticket An older lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half! drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

It was a hot day in Wisconsin Helga hung out the wash to dry, put a roast in the oven, and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, it's hotter dan hell today," she mused to herself as she walked down Main street. She passed a tavern and thought, "Vy Nodt?" So she walked in and took a seat at the bar.The bartender walked up and asked her what she would like to drink. "Ya know," Helga said, "it is zo hot, I tink I'll have myself a cold beer." Anheuser Busch?" the bartender asked. Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yur viener?"

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked. "Let's run through the rain!" She repeated. "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied. This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain." "We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said. "No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm. "This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?" "Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'" The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith. "Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said. Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing. Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to also send it to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.