Yesterday I was me. Confident, hopeful, trusting in the good the future would bring. I had dreams for tomorrow. My life was full of goals. I cared about the people around me and thought my accomplishments mattered. I thought, ďLet me do this nice thingÖsomeday my turn will come.Ē I thought I had made the right choices and done the right things.
Today broke me. I feel like the ďmeĒ is gone. I donít want to get out of bed tomorrow. The future doesnít matter anymore. I gave all I had to give, and it was slapped back at me. My ďturnĒ is never coming. The person I was yesterday is forever lost.
Today, a bomb full of tiny knives went off inside me. It cut through me and tore me into unrecognizable pieces. I donít know that I can ever fix it. I donít think I care enough to bother trying. I am past all pain and too numb to care. Now, I am nothing but an empty void inside.
Itís not the end, but my world will never be the same. Oh, I will get up and do all the things that duty requires; my parents didnít raise me to shirk my responsibilities. But I wonít care about it anymore. Why bother, what is the point?
This bomb, it showed me that my perceptions of the world were wrong. It destroyed all joy that life brings. I just donít care now. The really sad part is that I donít even want to care.
Take what you want. You can have it all. I have no strength left to protest and no desire to anyway. I donít need anything or anyone.
So life will go on. It always does. I will smile to the world and pretend nothing has changed. On the outside I will play the game, but nothing will be able to touch me inside again. Cold, dead, empty, broken. What could ever fix that?