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What are you waiting for?
In the dark caverns of my mind I am in retreat. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, the screams of the tortured haunt me till the end of time. Is anyone here? Does anyone care? I am utterly alone in my hell fighting with feelings of abandonment, and remorse for my actions. If I had only known that I would regret every minute I would have turned the other way. The look in his eyes as the night engulfed his thoughts. The look of reverence deep in his soul as a vision of death stood before him, darkness slithering around his essence. Blood curdling shrieks of pain as he gives in to the inevitable. A sight burned into my psyche. Have I lost my mind? Have I gone insane? Terror enters my every waking moment recalling that fateful night when evil reigned supreme. When death roamed on open foot. When I took a life, the living essence of a human being. Disconnected from reality, and far from the laws of humanity I stepped into the role of a God. A God I am not, yet I halted life in one individual, released his soul to the depths of the afterlife. God has him in his bosom; they are safe from me for now. A protector of light, and the bringer of vengeance the almighty God shall smite me for my acts. Looking into the eyes of the dead I see myself, a soulless being with a black heart, a living dead man. What have I become? Is this all that I am, a heartless beast with a blood lust? I’m nothing but a maniac with a one-way ticket to the eternal flames of damnation, where I will wait for my demise at the hands of my dark lord.
©~Ted E. Brown II
October 19, 2006
