Muddy's blog: "Bloggg"

Doesnt it just make you feel like shit when you find out that in a group of yourself and 3 other people, you're excluded by all but 1? Sure, the other 2 are happy to talk to you...when YOU'RE the one who haz to call them every time, or text. Sure, they dont mind being around you, az long az you have the only other person of the group with you, so that-a-way, they dont feel "forced" to have to talk to you...or even have to talk to you that much, unless of course, you say something directly to them, first. It makez you feel so fucking belittled...and so befriended, to know that if it wasnt anymore for that 1 person, neither of them would ever willingly talk to you. Maybe Im exaggerating that, but thatz how I feel. Of course, the 2 are alwayz excited to have the other person come along with them, and do shit with them...and then you're...well you're just another person. You dont add excitement...you're just another face to look at. They couldnt give a shit less whether you were there or not, or ever there

My angel. You touch, I destroy The demons, that scar. The nightmares They spread fear. Bring back the past To the innocent one Savior from the plague Head held high. Determined Through the fire. I will go As the demons try to fight Cleared is a path Walk down the aisle, child Nothing to hurt Nothing to be afraid of I am here. Arms open Hang on to your escape No more pain Live free of all that is the past I will guide you to the light. My light Your dreams. Your fantasies. Your truth I am your angel of freedom

I don’t know what to do. I cant keep waiting Your undecided mind. Leaves me stranded, standing alone Im not letting you make me wait. Im dragging this out of you I want to know. I am going to know, now I will be there for you. But I don’t think you’re willing to take that step So here comes the pride of my inner self Not letting you cripple me from the inside, any longer Im turning this around. Making you taste what you’ve put me through You’re so lost. You cant see through the fog Up this road, lies in wait for you. Everything You’re burning in your own misery Just step out from the ashes and take my hand Take it for your new life is about to begin But you cant take that leap of faith, can you You cant see what’s going on. The fog is too thick Growing harder to see through You have no choice, but to turn around Go back to where everything was wrong All your tears marked your path But just remember. That path never led to me

I see through the eyes of the angel See whats ripping you apart You lie to yourself, fall before your heart You're weak, defenseless, against your own emotions You'll die in the awakening of your truth Cant bear to see it, you have no acceptance This is your life, that you crumble under Blind by what you want to be right Set up, a vision of dishonesty No loyalty, faint of heart To kill you now Would be the highest of ignorance is bliss Your pain tells it all You cant hide it, never could Only a matter of time until it comes full circle Even then, you'll want to hide But you cant...because this is you All you, all the time Until death does do you apart

You think you're living a life of bliss You play so innocent in this game of lies Top it, one after another Come on, get scared, theres no reason for you to feel You had no heart in tearing me apart Inside out I wanted everything to be my way Never fails, never seems to defy Fucking bring it, I'll have the last word Cant let this be the way my life goes, forever Time for a change, I'll make that change Kill me now, for later you'll wish you had So fucking pathetic You're tearing yourself down without knowing Jump to what you think is real Find out the hard way No, I dont wish for you to be happy Why should I? I guess Im just that way And your pain will bring a smile to my face See what I felt? It is real Nothing harder than the truth Cry your tears and let me see them come out of you Feel the hate Feel the destruction of your own heart Fall to your knees, beg for it to stop But it wont, and that is life, and that is real

Rising up. Built up From the ashes of the fire you set upon me Stronger than ever. New state of mind All is dead inside me for what I felt for you In its place is another fire A fire that fucking rages I breathe new air Set free from all that you've trapped me in Bleeding you will be vengance upon thine enemy I've risen up from my grave of the past Reborn into a future of self-content I have you to thank for this For this is the greatest thing you've given me You left me dead I came back deader But more feuled than before Ready to take on the rest of my life And to wish you upon a quicker death No fucking escape I am the reaper Fear me for when you see me You will see nor breathe no longer Threat? No. Promise? No. Destiny You set forth for yourself when you burned me to the ground