Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther
away.. Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says
'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her
BMW in to a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on
it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'. She asks, 'How often do I have
to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKETA police officer stops a blonde for speeding
and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a
huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you
take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get
to the other side?' The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young blonde goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hu rt wherever she touched it. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show
me.' The blonde took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor
said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled
alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing
that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper
cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was
playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and
she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can
you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
PETS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of
someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO.......,' answered the blond.
'They're watch dogs.'
