Lost Angel's blog: "Angel's Journal"

Well I haven't been on here all that much lately . Due to a bunch of things going on right now . I found out that my mom was just diagnosed with liver failure and she will need a transplant, so I have been trying to spend more time with her . I have to admit that its taking a toll on me and trying to remain in a positive mood is very hard right now . I still sign in to check CT every few days so if you have left me a message I will try to get back to you as soon as I can .

I was once crying over you Then I was trying to forget you Just when I thought I had achieved that goal Now you walked back into my life And confused the hell out of me Can i learn to forgive and forget? Are we meant to love again ? Or doomed to repeat this pattern of unfullfilled hopes and dreams ?

ok so i'm doing just fine and actually starting to be happy again and then my ex walks back into my life saying that he missed me and that he had been thinking about how i was the only girl that seemed to love him and treat him right and now he is thinking along the lines of wanting me back with him ..well then i found out that him and his girl aren't even fully broke up yet . Why do men do this? I'm undecided about what to do . After they break up should i give him another chance? Or should I only be friends with him ?

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 40% Envy: 20% Pride: 20% Sloth: 20% Wrath: 20% Gluttony: 0% Greed: 0% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 17% You'll die from overexertion. *wink*

Well I'm completely done with him now. He doesn't believe me that I have no idea what had happened. So I'm done . We always had this problem when he gets upset over something . I could never change his mind cause he was too stubborn to even listen to what I was saying. And now I'm starting to think that he was messing around with her while we were still together . Because it seems like he is doing everything he can to destroy the love I have/ had for him . It's just hard to imagine that anyone could be that cruel and it doesn't bother them at all. Specially someone I had once planned to spend the rest of my life with. It makes me wonder how many lies he has told me over the weeks and months . Every time I asked him if something was wrong he said it was nothing and that I was worrying too much . And it turned out every feeling I had was true .

Well with each day that goes by its getting a little easier for me to accept the way things are right now . But it won't keep me from wanting what I had . The hardest part about it was that he was supposed to come to visit me and spend a week with me this month and then he just broke it off saying he doesn't love me anymore . But some of it I blame it on him still being young and wanting to play the game for a bit . I know it sounds cynical but sometimes I do believe that love is just a wicked game that we play during our lifetime . But is it really worth it in the end. Right now I honestly don't know exactly how I feel. In a way I feel numb inside and just constantly wondering what happened ? How can someone just throw away a 2 year history for someone they have only known for 6 months give or take ?

Break ups and broken hearts are just a part of lifeand the trials that we have to go through . But I'm a survivor. I've done it before so I can do it again . Do I still want him back? The answer to that question is yes, No matter how many others come and go throughout the months and over the years. I will always want him. Will we get back together ? Or am I doomed forever to be only a friend ? When at one point in time I was his everything . How can I be thinking about starting new with someone else when I'm not even over him? But then again, will I ever be truely over him ? It makes me wonder if true love really exists . You know, the kind that lasts forever . The kind you read about in all those romance books . Because in my experience forever only lasts until the find someone else . Everyone tells me that I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me to find a love like that. But what they don't see is I had it once and I want it back . Then they say if you love someone set them free . If they come back to you then its meant to be . This is the second time we have gone through this . Is there a third and final chance written in the stars?

Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson

"Fall, with you I fall so fast I can hardly catch my breath I hope it lasts" In 2004 you fell in love. Let's hope it lasts.

You Are a Strawberry Margarita

You're so sweet it's a little overwhelming, and people are a little afraid of corrupting you... It's a little difficult to imagine you with a margarita. And you're truly a different person after you've kicked back a couple!

You're 40% Irish

You're probably less Irish than you think you are... But you're still more Irish than most.