November 16, 2006 Oh What the Hell
Ok I guess I have kept my mouth shut long enough lol I am in the mood to write lol . I am 39 years old and have been single for over 2 years now. I sometimes thank God for that. Dear Lord the damn drama just to wake up to someone in the morning. I go to the bars with my friends and of course most of them are younger than me, I sit and listen to all the things they have to say about their world now a days. Damn no thanks!!!Ok for 1 example I have a couple that are unmarried but are pregnant he and she have this silly notion that they have to be together because of the baby. Ok in a perfect world I would say that is true but in todays way of thinking they do not have to be just to be good parents. I do not agree!! I know I am not the only person that has had to raise a child with out a father in the picture and sometimes it has been for the best because unfortunately the child is the one that suffers the most from that form of thinking. If you are unhappy now before the child is even born why in Gods name would you think it would be any better after the child is born?? IT IS NOT!!! Ok another example of this drama I do not want a part of is when you are with someone and part of you does not want to be with them but you are afraid to hurt them so you stay with them, well who are you hurting more by this action?? YOURSELF !!! Again another example, a woman is working a full time job as same as the man, the man believes that because he is the man he does not have to pull his weight around the house the same way she does. BULLSHIT!! Who the hell made up all this bullshit?? I have enough drama in my own world without dealing with their drama too but I guess according to all the younger people around me I have been deemed MOM to all of them. Now I am kewl with this but OH MY GOD!! I am thanksful to not have to go through all the young misconceptions of youth of today or any age in my lifetime. I am very happy to be the age I am now for the simple reason I have more wisdom to deal better with things that come my way. Now please do not get me wrong I have shit to deal with too but not all the niave thoughts of youth. I do know the anguish of having to tell someone "No I do not want to be with you " I know how it feels to not want to hurt someone elses feelings but it comes with being human. You know I wish we all could find that one person at the beginning of our mating age and be able to stay with that person til the death of either but it does not work that way for all of us. I have had 4 major relationships in my life with the opposite sex I do regret that but I have learned alot from them but still the wish I had that one person from my younger age til I die would have been my wish. What the hell do I know though I am the older woman sitting at the bar with younger people and wishing sometimes I had someone to sit at home with but that will come to me when the time is right for me and not before. I choose to do it my way and have the patients to wait til it is right for my other half to get their world ready for me. i could walk away but I do not want to because I do care alot about them and do not want to lose them. Right now I will try to help my friends that are younger so they do not make the mistakes they are walking into but I can not stop it all they have to make the same mistakes we all have to so they learn as they live. Anyhow folks there ya go I was thinking again which can be dangerous for even the saniest mind lol Love Ya all <3
