im so sick of life and everything inside it. im loosing it all. i cry all the time. he wont talk to me. he thinks im scum on the bottom of someones shoe. i cant take it. i cant take hearing how sad and upset and pointless i have made his life. im sick ofbeing told that i hurt him. do you know how bad that hurts?! do you know how much it fuckin sucks to show that im the strong one and try to PRETEND it doesnt effect me cause ill be damned if someone is there for me when i need them! you see i made mistakes and he made mistakes and im so fucking stubborn and stuck on what ibelieve that i didnt take him back. i wasnt even given time to think about it. iw as given o what 2 days?! it went from ill be here to talk to you when u are ready to your taking ot much time i cant do this anymore bye. im NOT blamin him. im so fucking tired of hear its all my fault i know its all my fault. stop blaming yourself god damnit. im so sick of all these feelings and tears. and hell WHEN I AM READY TO TALK ABOUT IT HE DOESNT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT CAUSE IT HURTS HIM. WELL GUESS WHAT IT FUCKING HURTS ME TOO. ILL JUST STICK TO MYSELF. PPL THAT USE TO TALK TO ME DONT REALLY TALK TO ME ANYMORE BECUASE OF ALL THIS SHIT. W/E I GUESS ILL JUST BE ALONE AND LIVE ALONE AND DIE ALONE. I BETTER GET USED TO WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE ALONE CAUSE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE. IM SORRY THAT I HURT YOU. IM SORRY THAT YOU WONT TALK TO ME SO WE CAN TRY TO FIGURE THIS OUT. I FEEL LIKE THE WORSE PERSON ALIVE AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO. IT TAKES ME GETTING PISSED OR SADDEN FOR U TO CONTACT ME AND THEN YOU BLAME ME FOR TALKIN BAD ABOUT YOU. SORRY BUT I HAVENT SAID ANYTHING. AND NO DONT WORRY, I WONT BE AT ANY FAMILY THINGS. I WONT BARGE IN AND DO THAT SHIT. UNLESS IT DEALS WITH MY NIECES OR BFF THERE WILL BE NO NEED FOR ME TO BE THERE ANYMORE. I HOPE ONE DAY YOU CAN THINK OF ME AS SOMETHING OTHER THAN A HORRIBLE BITCH HEARTLESS GIRL(BECAUSE I AM FAR FROM THAT) AND BE ABLE TO TALK TO ME. I LOVE YOU ALWYAS HAVE ALWAYS WILL. GUESS IMMA FUCK UP ONCE AGAIN. THAT SEEMS TO BE ALL IM GOOD AT. FUCK YOU WONT EVEN READ THIS SO ILL JUST STOP NO