Tragedy convalescing into this space
A broken fantasy encroaching on my solace
and I find myself impaled on lies I tell only myself
I am lost and desperate for a way out of this hell
I love the way you smile, even though it's never been for me
And it kills me a little each time I must accept that things may never be
More than a faerie tale of emptiness I use to secure my inner mind
Left away from all the things I love and I have left my soul far behind
It's all a part of karma coming round to take back what is hers
And I will bear the mantle of martyr for those I love and absorb all the hurt
I loathe the way I'm always alone, but I'll suffer anyway
No reason to share this pain if I can only make it through today
I accept the wounds, accept the guilt, accept all I am is flawed
I cry at night to he deities I deny, I rail against the sadly ignorant god
Because it never makes sense, it just hurts all the more
When I try to pretend I don't feel like a whore
A cesspool of agony for the ones I shelter from myself
I am losing my grip on my sanity and I cannot be helped
It's just karma coming down to rape all I was
And I fake the smile and pretend just because
I will walk this path alone and unloved in the ways I need
I will shoulder his burden, I 'll wander off to bleed
And I will smile my way through the empty hole
This broken thing I think once was my soul
And I'll do it all for you because you mean more
Than I could ever explain and I am so sure
That you will never even notice if I pretend well
And I protect all I love from this constant hell
And I can die with a smile no one understands
But it feels so good to finally be the man
That you all always deserved to have me be
And now I just have to hope it counts for something
