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What are you waiting for?
Sometimes I sit here, I stare, and I... WANT. In a fierce, grinding, send me down the streets bloody screaming my head off kind of way. I WANT. Often, when I WANT, there's much that can be done about it. Then, I GET. (or.. give up. Sometimes, I give up.) When, though, the WANT gnaws at me like a beast at feast, I twitch so violently from the perfect madness of scheming that I go utterly. Completely. Still. Stone statue silent and cold. Turned inward to a place Where WANT borders on NEED and the will to HAVE. I scheme.
Frantically, hysterically, my mind dashes about in a frenzy of planning and contemplation of what has to happen and how I can make it so. Pieces falling into spaces clumsy as boulder sized marbles scattered by giants, somehow still rolling into perfect place. Thoughts gel and my eager WANT seethes in a kind of scathing ecstasy. WANT. NEED. WANT. NEED. I shall go! I shall GET. I SHALL RECEIVE!!!!
... what?
...Talking to me?
...Huh?
...Oh, okay. Yes. I'm listening...
"Want is not need. Some things you may desire so desperately that you would burn the very heavens in search of relief. That, still, does not make your want a need. Think, is this mad scheme even possible? Think of what must be done to make such delusions come to be! Think, woman, THINK!!!!"
Then, thinking. The stillness fades, I begin to breathe. All the fire and light of my desperation gone from me. All of my passion. All of that fantastic ecstasy.
Damn.
DAMN YOU, REALITY!!!!!
