Sometimes... Sanity saves me. Bringing quaking open chasms of want and need that recede, leaving me raw and bloody. Rudely wakened, shaken. Seeing everything with tear burned eyes, scalded to a shine. I'm breathless,but still. Patient, yet not waiting, for anything. Simply being, believing in the cruel disparity separating want from need.
I've never craved sanity. The despicable clarity it brings. Madness encompasses, is embracing! It brings comfort in a darkened cloud of dreams. Cackles in my ear at night, to my all too often delight, I always play along so very willingly. We, all of us here, laugh derisively at sanity. Still, it saves me.
Like a beacon, a guide, it leads me to the bright harsh light, revealing... Things. Truths. The fact that people lie and no matter how desperately I've wanted to believe, I have tripped upon a facade. Fallen for the dream. One borne of misbegotten faith and fidelity. Been led astray, taunted by schemes. Wandered foolish and clueless. Until sanity saves me.
Romance, games of the heart, escape and elude me. Cat and mouse always seem oh... so... silly. I learn my wiles, piece by painful piece. As I run, run away. With sanity chasing behind. Trying, in vain, to save me.