I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.”
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Maserati Quattro Porte.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact.
But seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.
If there is one thing worse than being an ugly duckling in a house of swans, it's having the swans pretend there's no difference.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfilment of animal desires.
How helpless we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire!
Appetitus Rationi Pareat
When I think of talking, it is of course with a woman. For talking at its best being an inspiration, it wants a corresponding divine quality of receptiveness, and where will you find this but in a woman?
Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
