So how come all the non-monogamous relationships I've ever seen don't work? That proves monogamy is better!
Most relationships in general don't last; how many people actually spend their entire lives with the very first person they were ever romantically involved with? A few, but not many.
Have you ever seen a monogamous relationship fail? Dose that prove that monogamy dosen't work? it's interesting that if a monogamous relationship fails, that dose not discredit the concept of monogamy, yet if non-monogamous relationship dosen't last it's "proof" that non-monogamy dosen't work!
There are many reason why a relationship might not last, and most of those reasons have nothing to do with the relationship model. It's tempting to look at a non-traditional relationship and assume that every problem the people in that relationship have is due to the form of the relationship, but it doesn't actually work that way.
And not all relationships that don't last are "failures." It's common to believe they are, but it isn't necessarily so; any relationship that teaches you more about yourself of those around you is in some measure a success.
Let's assume I buy all this. How do I make it work?
It's easier to answer the question "How can you make polyamory NOT work?" Which is, in fact, a question I've addressed here.
As with any relationship, making it succeed is more complicated than making it fail. One of the surest ways to make it fail is to lie. If you can't be honest with your partner, and I mean about everything, then polyamory isn't for you. If you can't abide by the rules of a monogamous relationship, then poly isn't for you. If you cheat, then poly isn't for you.
Another good way not to make a poly relationship work is to browbeat you partner, or coerce your partner into accepting it. Poly relationships don't work if one of the peoplle involved only grudgingly accepts it; it has to be for the benefit of everyone.
