You'll appreciate this more if you're European although some will be understood by you Yanks...
David Ginola - Vagina dildo
Teddy Sheringham - Teddy Minge rash
Ossie Ardiles - Arse is soiled
Diego Maradona - O dear, I'm a gonad
Tony Blair PM - I'm tory plan B
Virginia Bottomley - I'm an evil Tory bigot
Michael Heseltine - Elect him, he's alien
David Mellor - Dildo marvel
Dame Agatha Christie - I am a right death case
The Metropolitan Police Force - I'm fellatio, the erect porno cop
Benson and Hedges - NHS been a godsend
Selina Scott - Elastic snot
Mel Gibson - Big melons
Gloria Estefan - Large fat noise
Chris Rea - Rich arse
Martina Navratilova - Variant rival to a man
Gabriela Sabatini - Insatiable airbag
Irritable Bowel Syndrome - O my terrible drains below
Evangelist - Evil's Agent
Desperation - A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code - Here Come Dots
Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler
Semolina - Is No Meal
