I really miss you hun. More than anyone can possible understand. I cry every time I hear Pledge of Allegiance. I'm going to go to Arlington in a couple weeks to see your grave. God that took me a long time to type those last two words. It still hasn't totally sunken in. I'm hoping going there will help bring closure. A part of me doesn't want to go and see it, because then it will make it real. I'm all mixed up. I don't know what to want. Well, I know what I want but I don't think I'm going to get it. I got some very bad terrible news today and it made me want you here even more. Lots of past memories flooded through my mind about us dealing with this a few years ago. I just want you here more than anything. I want you to tell me it will be okay. You're one of the few who know all about this. I have no idea what's going to happen at Arlington. I'm crying real bad, so I'm gonna go. I love you more than you'll ever know. I miss you more than I ever thought humanly possible.
