Q: Is there a fourth of July in England?
A: Duh! There’s a fourth of July everywhere.
There’s also a fifth, a sixth, etc.,
Q: How many birthdays does the average man
have?
A: One. You’re only birthed once.. the rest
are the anniversaries of your birth.
Q: Why can’t a man living in Miami, Florida,
be buried west of the Mississippi?
A: Generally, people that are still living
aren’t buried.
Q: One month has 28 days. Of the remaining
11 months, how many have 30 days?
A: The answer is in the question – 11.
(You gotta have 30 days to get to 31.)
Q: How far can a dog run into the woods?
A: Only half way.. the rest of the way, he’s
running out of the woods.
Q: A farmer had 17 sheep, all but 9 died.
How many had he left?
A: You’re not very good at this are you… the
answer’s in the question.
Q: How many animals of each species did
Moses take on the Ark?
A: None. Noah took the animals on the Ark.
Q: How many outs in each inning of a
baseball game?
A: 6 - 3 per team
Q: If a doctor gave you three pills and told
you to take one every half hour, how long
would it be before you ran out of pills?
A: One hour. For me at least... don't you
take one right then?
Q: If you have two US coins totaling 55
cents, and one of the coins is NOT a
nickel, what are the two coins?
A: A fifty-cent piece and a nickel.
Yeah, I know… I said one of them is NOT a
nickel, but reread the question… you have
TWO coins, only ONE of them is not a
nickel.
Q: Take two apples from three.
What do you have?
A: If YOU TAKE two apples, then YOU HAVE two
apples. Come on now…
Q: How many sides on a circle?
A: You’d think zero right?
Nope.. front and back make up two sides.
Q: How much dirt is there in a 2x2x4 hole?
A: Come on… this is simple… 2x2x4 = no dirt.
It’s a hole people.
Q: There is a house with four southern
exposures, there is a bear running toward
the house. What color is the bear?
A: Who the fuck cares? RUN
Q: A woman declares her grandfather is only
five years older than her father. Can
this be true?
A: Absolutely. She never said that they were
from the same lineage.
