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BooBookittyFK's blog: "Update"

created on 07/24/2007  |  http://fubar.com/update/b106966

Really?

so basically i am 24 weeks pregnant, my boyfriend decided that he couldnt live in the house that i just financed on my own and had all new appliances to include, furnace, a/c, water heater, washer, dryer, dish washer, fridge, stove and microwave installed, have about 15k of money into repairs, as well as still sitting on about 45k in equity as the house sits right now and the day i closed on the home he asked me not to sign the paper work and to move into his mothers home with him and live in their basement until he figures out somewhere else to live...now to add confusion to the current circumstances he has been living with me for the better part of the last 5 months or so, working on the house with me and putting his money and sweat into the home but now that i am almost 7 months pg he decided he just cant live here, so i am looking for some insight. We have been together for a long time, obviously are expecting a child together and he informed me he isnt sure what he wants anymore, and that he needs some time to think, he doesnt want to date other people he will not go out on me or anything at least for right now, and just needs time to figure out if he can be with me and live in what was suppose to be our home now is it really fair that he gets to tuck his balls between his legs and run until he decides whether he can be a man or not and i am suppose to wait with open arms, but then there is this part of me that does love him dearly, more than life itself and wants him to be happy and if its not with me then i dont want to hold him back, i just dont understand the mood swing and his sudden urge to act like a child and always wanting to go out, he wants me to go to but i am having complications with the pregnancy and cant always, migraines, contractions, and i haven't been able to keep food down in a long time i am actually 3 lbs down from the weight i started before i was pregnant...i just am scared to be on my own, its really lonely and he was my best friend, my social life, my boyfriend, and the father of my soon to be son, i just am really lost and i know some people read these i am just looking for some advice or guidance or just something to help me calm down so i can get a good nights sleep its going on 4 days since i've been able to sleep through the night...i dont know maybe just venting will help....

I HATE SPERM DONORS

So basically to sum life up...my son's father and believe me i use that term quite loosely is the worlds biggest douche bag. So this last thursday he was supposed to have him overnight hadn't seen him in two weeks but was too busy being white trash and had to set up for garage sale..so i offered a couple of hours instead of an overnight well he couldn't pull himself away from being such a douche bag to come and pick up his son...so that's the first instance in a chain of events. So i have been reminding him that pictures are tomorrow, i have been calling him everyday for a week trying to get him to give me money so i could order pictures so my son wasn't the only one of my ex's kids that didnt have picture up around there house...i even offered to cover the pictures costs and he could pay me back when he is supposed to get my son for this weekend, while i was reminding him of the pictures and asking which package he wanted to order i reminded him that we had a 28 dollar snack fee for my son's kindergarten class well he threw a fit about the 14 dollars and claimed that is what that 120 dollars a month he pays me is for then began yelling at me if i didnt waste his child support on buying my son toys then i would have the money to pay the fees..he obviously missed the point i am more than capable of paying the costs but i figured since he was half the reason there is a child in this world named matthew i figured he could cover half the costs of schooling that child he helped create...so i pretty much told him to go fuck himself...will someone please explain to me why men like that are not steralized at the age of 18...there should be a test before people are allowed to have sex. I was trying to be nice and previously he wasnt able to transport my son to school in the morning his overnight is supposed to be thursdays but i agreed to letting it be fridays...yeah not anymore asshole get him to school the best way you know how and if you dont guess what no more overnights during the week...and guess what else fuck face you can pay the extra child support...so to anyone that is reading my vent here i appreciate the attention you are giving this matter...if you should ever run into an asshole named james bower kick him square in the balls and tell him he is a fuckface and shouldn't be allowed to reproduce!

I just dont get it

When a female offers a friendship with its conviences, or benefits if you will and you ask for something more, and you finally convince her to try something more call it a relationship if you will. then you let your retarded ex who you are obviously not over that is a cheating scandalous whore interfere...don't come crying to the person you just blew off to go back to her when she breaks your heart again...that is just retarded. Yeah ok I still want to be friends but dont expect a whole lot of sympathy from me when it comes to matters of the heart. I am going back to my old ways, i just want to be considered one of the guys again, that chick that will drink beer, take shots of jack with you, go to the strip club and watch sports...relationships are officially out of the question and a complete waste of time as far as i am concerned. i do apologize if this annoys anyone that reads it but i feel better at least getting this off my chest...them damn things are heavy enough as it is without all this bullshit resting on top of them!

Yeah its kinda messed up

Whatever he might want from me, with no second guess, with no hidden fees, my heart was his, my life no question, instead of love in return there was only aggression. First with the left then with a right, i just kept turning my cheek, trying to hide all my fright. it was my fault, i shouldnt have said that, i should have had dinner ready and should never ask questions. Of course he would never cheat on me, he would never forget or ever ignore me. He was the best, the truest, my lover. I loved him too much, too bad he wasn't sober, Always wondering why, oh why, that one moment in my life, that one moment in time. if only i had done as expected, i just might have lived to tell him i missed him. the man i once knew, the man that had asked me, swept me off my feet and told me never worry missy, had raised a hand in anger and violence, taken that one thing that he once held highest, with one quick shot it would soon be over. Would he ever think what might have been if I was sober? Now that i'm gone there isnt much to be said, just know that it was my fault and please dont forget, he is a good man, a great husband too, There are no regrets, no sadness no anger, all has been forgiven, so please just remember... next time you go to lift that bottle think of me, what might have been, and what shall never be

If you ever Wondered

Scorpio

scorpio2.gif

You are very dominant in bed, and you like to control your relationship in general.
You are so intense in the sack that none of your partners will ever forget you. You are an amazing lover, because you like to have an equal amount of give and take.
Sex matches: Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

To inform you

Ok, so i asked a question and apparently wasnt clear about the events leading up to it, me being discontent with love isnt anything new, this has been going on for quite sometime, i do however appreciate the thoughts and comments that everyone shared with me. i just dont think love is for me, its too complicated, to harsh and very unforgiving. i was just wondering how everyone else felt just gettin a feel for a population outside my normal group of people i talk to. so for clarification purposes this isnt a new heartache...its just me thinking...i had a pain in the ass friend who inspired me to remember why i dislike relationships.
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