BIG ROCK's blog: "BIG ROCK"

strange how things go...things blow up in your face, and you think what next...and you just dont want to be the cause of anymore pain, i have come to a point where i dont want to lose friendships, i dont want to cause hatred between some of my friends...... i have no idea what is going to happen with me....but i know i will live....i have 3 children that i love more than anything....and i know that that can never be taken from me....i am who i am...just a plain guy tryin to entertain people at a karaoke show, makin a few friends on the way (hopefully), and trying to deal with my shortcomings.... another day has come and gone, but i am still here... ROCK OUT

my world is crashing down all around me, i got into somethings that i should have let be...and now i pay the price.....dunno how to stop the pain...i guess the saying is true ..if you play with fire, you will be burned...im burning...like i'm in a chamber of flames....dont know what to do...dont know how to let go....dunno how to stop the pain...don't know how to let go....

just when ya think you are getting close to makin a decision that will effect the rest of your life, everything tumbles around you....you get blown off, called a loser, .....sometimes life is funny that way, some people contemplate death....i have never before in my life placed a loaded gun to my head....but the pain was so much...that i wanted it to end.....38 caliber snubnose revolver....just wanted the pain to end.....that could solve all the problems....my children would never know that i was a failure and a loser...... i think it must have been the fear?...or maybe compassion of my best friend who stopped what could have been a amjor disaster for my family and what few friends i have..... Juan, you will forever be my bro...and thank you for being there....i am sorry to anyone i have caused pain...in any fashion..... BIG ROCK lives on....only the goddess knows where my path shall lead