just when ya think you are getting close to makin a decision that will effect the rest of your life, everything tumbles around you....you get blown off, called a loser, .....sometimes life is funny that way, some people contemplate death....i have never before in my life placed a loaded gun to my head....but the pain was so much...that i wanted it to end.....38 caliber snubnose revolver....just wanted the pain to end.....that could solve all the problems....my children would never know that i was a failure and a loser......
i think it must have been the fear?...or maybe compassion of my best friend who stopped what could have been a amjor disaster for my family and what few friends i have.....
Juan, you will forever be my bro...and thank you for being there....i am sorry to anyone i have caused pain...in any fashion.....
BIG ROCK lives on....only the goddess knows where my path shall lead
