Best Police Comments
> #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any
> redder than the one you just went through."
>
> #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because
> they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
>
> # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll
> make your birth certificate a worthless document."
>
> #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>
> #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per
> second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
>
> #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I
> guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
>
> #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
> don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
> shift supervisor?"
>
> #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
> warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
>
> #8 "The answer to this last question will
> determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a
> dog?"
>
> #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair
> is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn
> dogs and step in monkey poop."
>
> #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
> and my wife gets a toaster oven."
>
> #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>
> #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you
> say you had?"
>
> #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We
> used to, but now we'reallowed to write as many tickets as we
> can."
>
> #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
> Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can
> post your bail."
>
> AND THE WINNER IS....
>
> #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
> right, we don't. Sign here."
