I need to write about this and possibly get some feed back from folks about how to handle this situation.
When I first moved back to Houston, I felt it was the right thing to do for my children's education. My son was the only boy in the 6th grade to make distinguished honor roll for the entire school year. Yeah!
The next year he went out for the football team and made it. My thoughts were yeah, I don't have to pay for anymore little league/pop Warner football. The down side of it was and has been that boys from all walks of life are on the football team and some of them at that school had brothers who were in gangs where drugs are plentiful.
T's desire to be part of the popular crowd lead him to start trying pot and alcohol at parties. The first time he got drunk he was only 13 and it scared him. I thought to myself, "Ok he tried it, didn't like it we are over it."
About 2 years ago, another parent and I were discussing why she took her son out of the high school that they both were attending citing the school had a major drug problem that they weren't addressing. Maybe I was naive but I thought my son wasn't doing that.
Along about spring of that year my aunt died and my brother had to go pick up the key to my house from him and noticed that the boy he was with was stoned but he acted as if my son wasn't. My brother has been sober now for 21 years so I figured if anyone should know it would be him. A couple of weeks later he dropped the bomb on me that my son was doing it too. crap!!
My dad died like a month after that and I took my kids to their dad's house. Along the time that the kids were gone, my now ex husband started "talking" to another woman who wanted to "help" me through my grief. In actuality, she wanted him and having me come over to meet her gave her an idea of what she was up against. In two months time, she managed to convince him that I was never going to get over my father's death and his kids didn't need to be around my son using drugs and he packed up his kids (that he has custody of and I was supporting)...that's a whole other story..
Anyway, I've tried to be the cool mom by not bitching too much about it but it has come to a point where he is allowing friends to stay over who bring him pot. He's also been stealing my car at night to go see his g/f and hang with his friends.
One friend was as they said, "A former gang member" who needed to stay at my house because his WIFE kicked him out of the house. Things started disappearing. The man, I guess was telling T, that he had seen a guy in our back yard blah, blah, blah to which I really couldn't argue about because of the fact that my now ex husband had caught someone out there before.
One day my extra set of keys to both my car and truck turned up missing. Of course, the answer to me was I must have missplaced them. A day later, Max has a pitbull in my house and the truck had been moved. Max said his cousin had gotten it for him. My son said yea the truck is right where it was when he left.
Three days later, I come home from work and the damn pitbull wouldn't let me in my own house. This made me angry and I told Max about it. I came into my office as usual to do my computer work. Some girl calls asking to speak to Max so I go back and knock on the door. The door is locked so I tell the girl that he must be taking a shower. On my way back to my office, I notice that my car is not in my driveway. I call the police and report it stolen. The girl calls again half an hour later and again I get no response from inside the room other than the dog barking. I get concerned and pick the lock open to find that Max isn't in the room. I call the police back and tell them who is driving the car. They weren't even going to take a report until I told them that I intended to press charges.
I just happen to be standing in the room when he finally shows back up. He says, "Oh shit!" I said, "Oh shit is right! Now give me my damn keys and get the hell away from my house!" The police show up and the dog is taken by animal control.
That night he calls and asks to come back. I tell him, "Oh hell no!" Three hours later, he calls and my son answers the phone. Max starts threatening him. I pick up the phone and tell him that animal control has his dog to leave us alone.
The very next day, my house was broken into and all of my son's playstation, x-box, dvd and video games were stolen along with his bass, guitar and amps. My digital cameras, his watch, computer equipment, clothes and even a box of condoms were taken. About 3-4 grand in stuff. My son wants to hurt him now. I have tried to convince him that at least we weren't hurt.
Now Max is leaving threatening messages. Driving by firing off rounds and we even witnessed them driving around trying to put together a posse. Max has been known to do home invasions and has broken another kid's jaw.
T continues to talk to another guy that Max had camped out at his house and done the same thing there. Now that guy is in my house following T's impromptu "let's get high on my birthday" party that he neglected to tell me about last night.
I have been trying to explain to T that this is how his life is going to be if he continues running with these people but he just doesn't get it! He says that had I not flown off the handle at Max and let him get his dog that none of this would have happened. I said, "T he stole my car! He stole things from the house before I even said don't come back. Why are you defending him?" He said, "Oh well you are the one that did it and now we are targets." AND he continues to smoke.
Now don't get me wrong here in that I'm against people smoking pot as I have done it myself. I am against my son doing it and possibly screwing up his life. This is still my house and if I get busted for having the substance in my house, I am at risk of loosing my job, my house, my kids, along with jail time.
Does anyone have any suggestions here?
