Puppy Eyes's blog: "Behind These Eyes"

So tonight is my first night staying at Jason's house. I got home from work and the game was on and I had a beer waiting for me. I'm in heaven. haha! I'm pretty sure I'm going to be just fine here. It's only until Dec. 21st and then I'll be in Dover, NH so it's cool. I'm always at work or school anyways so it's not like I'll be a hassle. Jason's cool about me just coming and going so I don't have to worry about haing to invite him every time I go out and whether or not I come home. Everything's peachie keene! hehe

Okay so I went to my first Halloween party of the seasson and didn't know anyone there except for my friend, Danni, that I went with. By the time I left everyone either knew me as JoJo or the Queen Bee.. yes, I went as a bumble bee... it was hot! We were only there for a few hours until the cops showed up. At least people had the brians not to answer the door. Aparently as long as the door is closed they can't come in and arrest anyone. The girl who lives there went out a back door while we stashed everything and walked around front to talk to them. They said as long as we move the cars off the street and kept the music down they wouldn't come back. Too bad as soon as people started leaving to move their cars the police started arresting them. FUCK THAT!! Me and Danni snuck around back and I walked up the grabbed the car, drove down so she could jump in, and we hauled ass outta there. We went back to her dorm and now we're chillin' here drinking. I'm pretty bored and want to go home but I'm stuck here til morning. Oh well... it's all good. Happy Halloween! hehe

I'm feeling fairly confused lately. For the first time in a long time I can read anyone but my own Tarot cards. I don't know if it's because I'm mentally blocking something without realizing it or if I'm subconcsiously so afraid to know the truth to my own questions. I know that there is only so much I can control in my life. I've got a majority of it under wraps, but there are some things that I find myself wondering about. I know where I am in a personal sense. I know how to handle myself in a business sense. But I am so lost as to where I am or what I should be doing at a romantic stance. There are three basic levels in each persons life. Personal, Business, and Love. I've only got two of the three in check and it's throwing my whole balance off. I don't know here I stand in one situation and I'm being put in other situations that I'm not sure I want to be in. To put it simply, I work in Sales and I get hit on constantly by creeps, dirty old men, handicaps, and playboys. I'd like to tell them to back off because "I have a boyfriend" but I don't know if I do. I know it seems trivial and believe me I wish it were. But this is keeping me up at night. More specifically it gets me up at 4AM. haha (inside joke). I just wish I knew where we stood for each other. Unfortunately I don't think he even knows... or at least doesn't think he can make that decision yet.