So in less than two weeks, I take to the skies to go to Arizona. There are a few different reasons for this trip...and a few different reasons for me to feel apprehensive about it as well.
Reason #1: I NEED A DAMN VACATION. That is all.
Reason #2: It's about time I visit my friend Nyssa. She's been living there for a few years now with her kids and I've missed hanging out with her. There have been so many changes in both of our lives. Including the fact that we used to be bitter enemies. Funny how a man can so easily come between two women.
Here's what makes me apprehensive about this: The man who so easily came between us was, at the time, her ex and my boyfriend. He did whatever he could to drive a wedge between us and make us hate one another. But, at the time, I was so into him I guess I didn't see the game that he was playing.
And now they're back together.
I'm ok with that. No problems. But apparently they are having some relationship difficulties at this time [namely him being a complete waste of skin and air]and I just have this feeling that he's going to try to pull...something. I don't know what. He's already tried to prevent her from spending time with me...and I'm not even there yet.
Frigging YAY. I despise drama, especially when my ex is involved.
Reason #3: This is the one that matters most to me. Don't ask me why. I'm not even certain there are words to describe it. Okay...maybe there are SOME words.
I adore him. I like to talk to him. The way he conveys all of his thoughts with as few words as possible...the simplicity of him...is a welcome change from all of the useless banter I hear day in and day out in my life [and sometimes from my own lips]. He makes me laugh, he makes me happy, he makes me willing to walk a hundred miles if it will only make him smile...because, when he does, it's like a light going on. It doesn't spread across his face so much as just appear there like a switch being flipped...and it happens rarely enough to make it really special.
He is my friend...with no expectations, no agendas, no games. He pulls no punches. He tells it like it is...with a bit of sarcasm thrown in for good measure.
And he's just as broken as I am. Maybe more. But, even broken, I think he's so lovely. And he thinks the same about me.
Here's what makes me apprehensive about this: Often I think that when we meet someone on the internet, our view of that person may be a bit distorted. People on here put their best face forward. They use their best photos, they place the webcam at just the right angle, they are able to pick and choose their words more carefully because there's always a backspace button between them.
But what happens when they're in the same room?
Eh. It's just nerves...coupled with lack of sleep.
We'll just have to wait and see...
