Aunt Carol
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.
Johnny, do you have a story to share?
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol.
She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy Territory and all she had was a small
flask
of whiskey, a pistol and a Survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break
and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy
Troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she
killed
the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
'Good Heavens' said the horrified teacher.
'What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible
story?
'Stay the fuck away from Aunt Carol when she's drinking.'
