What Is Self Harm?
We take 'self-harm' to mean a mechanism for those who use self-injury as a way to
deal with or express their emotions, self-harm has specific psychological traits and
is about the condition not the action. Self-harm brings about desired effects of pain,
release, punishment, feeling substitution, freedom from inadequacy and many other effects
that self-harmers require that they find in self-harm. Self-harm can also be a way to gain
control in an out-of-control situation, or a way to make internal pain visible on the outside
which puts the pain of negative emotions into a more easy to understand context.
The knife as it slices
brings blood of red,
as I sit there with thoughts
of death in my head.
It happened quite often,
the freedom and release
that was felt with every cut
a little of the pain did release.
I would not say for what
although some did ask
I was too ashamed to tell......
They wouldn't understand
What it was like to be trapped in hell,
I was held captive by myself
I kept her uunder lock and key
this self destructive part of me.
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Not A Spanking
I see the mark,
I hear her cry,
She says, "Don'tell."
I unhappily oblige.
I cry for her and pray,
That she does not make him mad,
Because everytime she does,
It's "Please, no...not again dad."
I wish she would get out,
And stay at some other place,
I wasn't there when it happened,
But I saw the pain on her face.
I hope things get no worse,
I can only sit here and listen,
As she comes in every few weeks,
And her eyes start to glisten.
She will not show her tears,
But I know that they are there,
She goes home to cry on her bed,
Thinking that no one really cares.
My heart breaks everytime
She shows me something new,
Something he has done to her.
The peaceful nights seem so few.
I know I should report it,
But she has been through this before,
She says it makes it worse,
So I will not open that door.
I hope he really gets it one day,
And gets hit with a pipe,
He would really deserve it,
Because he is the type
That I'd love to get my hands on,
And beat him til I can't move,
But I know thats not the way,
Because I have nothing to prove.
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The Fight of Everyday
I woke up and rage filled my heart and mind,
then your your shadow was over meall day long.
I fought with you for control of myself,
and this time I came to be strong.
This time was unlike so many others
when all I could do was give in...
this time we reacheed a compromise
instead of fighting to see who would win.
It is a rare occurence for me to be able to calm you
so that we may proceed as a team
but it is a grand occasion when I do
Because the results seem to be that of a dream.
I hope this happens more often
because I am tired of the fight
for when your wrath comes down upon me
my childlike self takes flight.
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I find it hard
to agree to supress
this person inside
who takes over when I am in distress.
She has been there for years
through thick, through thin
and through many trials and tribulations
I have come to find
She has been my only true friend.
Though she may sometimes hurt me
and all those times in the past
for she is the reason I sit here
encased in glass.
But shall anyone try to hurt me
I know that she'll protect
because she made it her job
to take care of the feelings that I neglect.
She helps me when I am down,
and she helps me when I hurt.
Towards the one who hurt me,
her attention does divert.
Should her wrath come down,
have mercy on their souls
for it is usually those I care for
She's out for Blood
roasts their hearts over lighted coals.
I never remember
much that goes on
when she is on the Rampage
I have to be gone.
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Water/Fire
I am Water
and She is Fire
while I give Love
She has the Leadership and Power.
As the Water surrounds and engulfs you
so will the extreme Power of my feelings
and if you ever trust me enough to let me have your heart again
then you may just find it's that much more appealing.
I have opened my heart to you
so you can feel the things I cannot express
for it is important these things be communicated
so that we can be together and live on in happiness.
I like being myself
and having some control
of the things that I do
and being able to remember my role
in everyday life.
I had always thought by now
I would be a ..wife and mother
but I guess that's not in my cards
it was meant for another.
I am Water
and She is Fire.
While I have Love
She has Leadership and Power.
