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Okay, since I posted the last blog about things that piss me off, I figured I should write somethings that'll win me over! You should be happy, I never let people in the inner workings of my masterminding brain, heheh. *clears throat*
How to win over the black, icy heart of Lucifer's Muse:
~Remember the little, trivial things about me.
~Don't take me for granted.
~Make me smile atleast once a day. And a laugh goes a long way.
~Surprise me, even though I tell you I don't like surprises.
~Stroke my face in a loving way.
~Hold my hair back when I puke.
~Laugh at my jokes, even when they're lame.
~Come back with a wisecrack when I lay one on you.
~Be a man. Know when it's okay to stand your ground. If you let me walk all over you, by the gods, I will.
~Treat me like a lady.
~Be good to my children.
~Don't be on the computer all day and night. Get out and do something with yourself! Hell, I'll help you work on the car. I'm not above getting dirt under my nails.
I know this is wishful thinking. But, these are the requirements to defrost the Muse's heart. So if you can't dig it, then get the fuck outta here!
I'm generally a laid-back kinda broad. But there are things that really piss me the hell off when they're done to me, for example:
~Forget my birthday or our anniversary if I am in a relationship with you. Those should be special dates for you. I won't forget your birthday or anniversary, and I expect you do the same!
~Keep me hanging. I don't like being strung along. I have feelings! I expect the person I'm with to be straight-forward with me from the get-go. If you're not going to be honest with me, then stay the hell away from me. Don't keep me hanging.
~Talk down to me. You are not my daddy. You have no authority over me enough to call me names and chastise me. It hurts really, really bad. It's worse than getting punched in the face. Don't be surprised if I hit you with a baseball bat if you talk down to me.
~Lie to me. I know a good judge of character when I sense it. I also know when someone is lying to me. If I ever catch you in a lie, I can never trust you. It is really hard for me to just give my trust freely. You must earn it and keep it if you want me to stay around. I appreciate an honest person. Even when that honesty hurts me.
~Cheat on me. I absolutely will not tolerate this. If I am with you, I expect you to be completely faithful to me and respect our relationship. If you cheat on me, I'll dump your ass so fast, you won't even know what hit you. So if you are thinking of playing me, you better go somewhere else. I know how to use a gun. Very. Well.
~Abusive towards me. If you ever so much as lift a hand to strike me with, you better sleep with one eye open. I'm not one to be hitting on. If I piss you off, tough! Go walk it off. I am not the easiest person to be around at times. But if you hit me, cut me with words, or anything that is considered abusive, I will cut you down, son. And I won't think twice.
~Mistreat my boys. My sons mean the world to me. I am very protective over them and will not put up with someone chastising them, calling them names or hurting them. Remember when you heard not to get in between a mama bear and her baby? Well, that applies to me as well. I will kill for them. Be gentle and loving towards them, and you'll have my heart.
You may think I'm a bitch. And maybe I am. But I will not tolerate a bunch of shit. I am a good woman and expect to be treated as such. I am completely faithful and loving towards the one I am with. Playas...go away. I don't need or want your kind of game.
Remember the Golden Rule!
Some little faggoty-ass jerk stopped talking to me because I think Hatebreed SUCKS. I don't care. I wouldn't have went out with him even if he paid me $500.
Take the fucking Big Mac out of your mouth, asslicker. Maybe you'll get a girlfriend. Doubt it though. Go plaster the ceiling with your pitiful 2 inch penis. Lucifer's Muse always cracks a rib laughing at idiots like you.
Gotta love guys who whack off at bestiality porn in their mama's basements.
Fuckin' pathetic.
