lucky Jason 69's blog: "And it all falls down!"

Sitting here thinking about the dream I had last night! 
I was in a store...or was it a bar...the scenery changed too often to know for sure cause I was walking around through isles talking to other people and got to a spot that had pool tables where I found my empty cue case and the pool cue was broke! I found the owner and complained that this is the second time! (it happened in another dream a few days ago) As I left I got into a vehicle...sorta lol I couldn't see it but knew I was traveling and there was a cop in front of me. As we reached the corner there were a bunch of cones and I was the first for the check point! I don't recall drinking any so it didn't really bother me. This is where it gets funny. There was the "bad cop" that constantly had his gun pulled on me for every little thing I did and the hot female cop that was checking over everything. This is when I notice I was riding a kids 3-wheel hotwheels! As the female cop was looking for substances she couldn't keep her hands off me and that just really upset the other cop to the point I thought he was going to start shooting....then I woke up. lol

I am emotionally destroyed! I've pulled every string given! There's no way to quit, but there's no motivation to keep livin.

You don't see the real me cause it's hidden deep. The real me is crying yet the tears seldom seep.

I've done so much I'm not proud of, but there's nothing I can take back! So I distance myself from others building an emotional lack.

I know I can get through this if I run away and hide. Shutting everyone off from this turmoil inside.

I want to feel good again, better about myself! Failure after failure are the only trophies on my shelf.

I've got a good job but the money isn't enough. I've got a great wife but living with me is tough.

I don't want to lose everything I have! But the distance keeps growing and I don't see a way back.

I know she can't love me like when we first met. Would things be better....if I just left?