i was recently told by a new friend that Virgos only really love once in their lives... and somewhere deep inside i know they were mostly right. Virgos love deeply. we love forever. like it or not (and that's for both the Virgo and the recipient) if you're loved by a Virgo he/she will always care deeply for you.
that thought frightens me... because i also know deep in my heart that my ex was my soul mate. but he is no longer with me. no longer do we walk the same path, no longer do we share a common dream. and that leaves a hole inside me that no other person can really fill. they can take a new place, but there will always be the fact that a huge part of my life has ended.
it's scary... because i don't want to live a solitary life.
i feel a strong need to commit to being partnered.
at 44 years old i find myself wishing for love like i never have before. wishing on stars for acceptance and deliverance from empty hours. wishing for someone to lay on the beach with me at night and count stars. someone that i can trust with every thought in my mind, every worry in my soul. someone i can give myself over to with as close to abandon as a Virgo woman can.
i want someone who will dance with me in the rain.
i want someone who will spontaneously hug me and hold me tight.
i want someone who will kiss my nose then smile.
i want someone who will not forget that i need contact with them.
i want someone who will not phreak if i feel like i have to kiss them NOW.
i want someone who will sweep me into their arms and whisper insanely lovely things to me - like.. i was thinking about doing this all day.
i want someone who will make up silly songs and sing them to me and not think i'm weird when i do the same thing to them.
i want someone who will hold me tight when i cry.
i want someone who's not afraid to share their tears with me.
i want someone who's not afraid to share their dreams with me.
i want someone who will laugh with me at private jokes that nobody else can understand.
i want someone who will drive to the beach with me at midnight if it's what i really, really want to do - and know that i will do whatever insane spur-of-the-moment thing that hits them.
i want someone who isn't afraid to live for the here and now - and the future - but is willing to let go of the past.
i want someone who will roll over in the night and touch my skin and sigh.
i want someone who isn't afraid of weird.
i want someone who makes me feel safe.
i want someone who will drink tequilla with me and not say i'm stupid when i'm drunk.
i want someone who will brush my hair out of my eyes so he can look into them closer & who's eyes i want to fall into and drift forever.
i want someone who can tell when i am brushing over my distress and whisper to me that i will be all right.
i want someone who will tickle me at odd moments.
i want someone who will invade my thoughts constantly.
i want someone who will feed me chocolate in bed and then kiss me.
i want someone who will hold my hand.
i want someone who will be as smitten with me as i am with them.
i want someone who i can't stop kissing - ever.
i want someone who's eyes can meet mine and i can feel their love.
i want someone who will never be afraid of.
i want someone who understands that i am afraid to be alone.
i want someone who can make me smile no matter what else i am feeling.
i want someone who hates drama as much as i do.
i want someone who loves me enough to eat sushi or hummus or dark chocolate with chili pepper and who will share their favorite things with me too.
i want someone who wants me to grow with them but understands that growth and change are different.
i want someone who won't compare me to lost loves and past conquests.
i want someone who will take me as i am, just as i will take them as they are.
i want someone who will stop me from working too much and loosing myself.
i want someone who will have my back in tough moments and who will know that i have theirs too.
i want someone who will love me as much as i love them.
is this my own private love spell... or a pipe dream? a recipe for the impossible? i don't know.
all i do know is i had love once... and i want it again.
