I've once again decided to take a shot at writing a novel (not sure if this is #4 or #5). This one is a comedy, so I might actually have some hope of finishing it. It's about a stereotypical geek (write what you know) who finds himself transported into a fantasy world and thinks he's the chosen one (ala Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Neo etc.), but finds out that he's just as inept there as he is in his regular life. I won't tell you the ending so as not to spoil anything. The tentative title is Fantastic Comedy (a play on romantic comedy), but I'm not sure if that quite sounds right (not to mention that it paints a target on my head for every reviewer) so I'll have to come up with something else. Anyway, here's what I have so far. Please bear in mind that I'm trying to learn to write without editing (a lot harder than it sounds) so it's a bit rough.
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The abnormally loud, but unmistakable chirping of a cricket suddenly pierced the silence of Peter Wolinsky's bedroom. Without a moment's hesitation, he rolled over and deftly, but violently brought his right fist down upon the snooze button with a precision that could only be the result of years of practice. It was no use ... he was awake. He had programmed the clock with the offending sound a few months prior because it was the most annoying thing that he could think of and couldn't possibly fail to wake him up. Unfortunately, it also never failed to put him in a horribly foul mood.
The realization that it was going to be one of those days didn't phase Peter. He'd had thirty five years of them and was used to it by now. For a moment, he thought about starting the workout that he'd been considering for the past few years, but as soon as he sat up he realized that he was entirely too comfortable ... maybe tomorrow. Taking a moment to clear his head and take a swig from the soda can that was left on the tv next to his bed from some time last week, he then carefully stood up and trudged across the sea of dirty clothes and well worn magazines that served as his floor to his computer.
Peter sat down at the desk and gazed at his pride and joy. He'd spent several thousand dollars and six months of his life building her and it was absolutely worth it. Each part carefully chosen and fined tuned just so. Every chip overclocked within an inch of it's life. Even the case was custom designed to maximize airflow. She was perfection incarnate. This was the only place in the world where he felt truly comfortable. His mood momentarily lifted, he ran a still weary hand through his thinning dark hair and checked his email
"Spam, spam, spam, spam" he sang to himself, laughing more than the reference deserved.
Sifting through the mounds of porn ads, get rich quick schemes and scams (is there a difference?). He found what he was looking for.
