Am I inferior, superior or neither?
It is very common for many people to compare themselves to almost everyone they meet. For many, the first thing people do when they see someone new is to determine where they are categorized in their internal hierarchy. In other words, are they better or I'm better. People will determine whether or not this person is better than one's self or not. An internal hierarchy is different for many people. It all depends on what that individual values the most. For example, if a person values the education level the most, then that person will rate other people based on their level of education. If a person values wealth, then they would rate other people based on their earnings. There can be a hierarchy with popularity, appearance, social status, occupations and so on. You see, people would generally "size-up" another person and determine if this person is inferior or superior in the internal hierarchy of their minds. You see, that's where it only exists; in their minds. And again, for each person the hierarchy in their minds may be completely different.
What is so important about the hierarchy in people's minds? Do you care if people rate you superior to themselves? Will it bother you if someone considered you inferior? To many people it is important that they are considered the best or at least above average to other people. People like being thought of in high regard. People seem to feel superior if a lot of people like them and inferior if a lot of people don't. Do you really believe it is true? Do you really believe the rich people are better than you? Do you really believe the geniuses are better than you? Do you really think the beautiful are better than you? Do you really believe your bosses are better than you? Then why is it important to believe some people are better than others?
The key to not feeling inferior or superior to others is by eliminating the habit to compare yourself with other people. If intelligence is what you compare yourself to others, and then you will always find someone more intelligent than you. If social status is what you compare with other people to feel more superior to yourself, then you will feel inferior to someone with an even higher social status. If your job position allowed you to feel superior over another person then you would obviously feel inferior to one of your bosses or someone who has a greater position in the work place. At one time in my life I began to avoid this habit of comparing ourselves with each other. One time I attended a party in Manhattan with two of my closest friends. Most of the people in the party were high paid New York professionals. The three of us use to work together in the same company but we all voluntarily left our jobs months before. Although I was a professional for fifteen years, I was unemployed at the time. These days when you meet a new person in New York, many of them ask what you do for work, some time at the beginning of the introduction. It is a common habit for people to use their occupation to develop a preconceived idea of the other person. People generally try to use the occupation to define the person they meet. Many occupations have common stereotypes that people use to develop their perception of another. When I was in that Manhattan party, rather than giving another person a chance to develop preconceived stereotypes about me, I believe I told them that I was in retirement for now. It was kind of true. I wasn't looking for another job. I was using that time off to travel and find an understanding of what I really wanted to do with my life. Many of the people at the party said they were either lawyers or accountants. I remember they were perplexed at my answer. They didn't get enough information to compare themselves with me so they were a little stuck. Rather than telling them what I did for a living, I began to explain to them on why I quit my job and what I was planning to do next in my life. I didn't want the conversation to evolve into what I did in the past; rather I wanted to talk about what I was going to do in the future. Many people may feel inferior when surrounded by wealthy professionals. If a high paying job is not very important to them then they wouldn't care who makes more money. If one truly believes that we are all equal then there is no need to compare one's self with everyone else. If one loses the need to compare themselves then they can focus on things that would make them happy. I was happy to talk about what I was planning to do rather than coming up with things that would impress another person. I felt free to enjoy myself in the company of new people rather than comparing each one to myself. It takes practice to believe that people are not better or worse, they are just different. If people can accept that people are just different, then they can accept people for who they are.
