Eliminating the concern of other people's opinion of one's self
Many people are sometimes concerned about how others percieve them. I know of many people who take great care of their image at their job. I know guys who are ready to fight because someone was looking at them in a wrong way. I witness some people who project a very strong image of themselves so they won’t be thought of as weak. One thing I know for sure is that no one has any control on how other people percieve them. Yet many people are concerned about what other people think. Or what would other people say. To me it appears to be the fear of losing respect from other people. And like many other fears, it may limit a person from making the correct decision, exploring possibilities, expressing themselves authentically and so on.
It's true that a person's image is very important to them. People have been known to lie to protect it. People limit what they can do to avoid hurting it. People also have been known to boast to nurture it. Their image is how the rest of the world percieve them and that can sometimes be the most important thing. Our image was never really important to us when we were children. Our concern for our image became more important once we got older. As a teenager, we always had to appear "kewl." For many of us, as a young adult we had to appear responsible or intelligent. For many of us, as young working adults we had to appear competent. After a while we all had to appear successful. In general, for men, we had to appear strong, intelligent, charming and so on. In general, women had to appear sexy, beautiful and smart. Whatever it was, that we had to project to the rest of the world, many of us protected and nurtured it as if it was the most important thing in the world.
Many people can agree on the importance of their projected image but I can see why it is not really that important at all. People’s image of me has varied in so many different ways from one person to the next. Even a variety of close friends have different perceptions of me. When I look back years at my relationships with people who know me for a very long time, I can see how their perceptions of me even change. But people aren't afraid of a variety of perceptions. They fear only the negative perceptions. They are afraid of how any negative perception can hurt them in the future. With a bad image people are afraid they would hurt their relationship with others. Maybe lose business with customers. Maybe lose a promotion. Maybe lose a friend. I can go on and on about what can happen if one were to get a negative image. But it’s like focusing on what might happen. Like creating an imagined possibility. There are a lot of people who believe that if you give energy to the negative things that may happen, then it will eventually happen. It's been called the "self-fulfilling prophecy." There was a study done to a teacher and a class of students, where a teacher was told that a certain few students were exceptional and a certain other few were not. It appeared that the students that were perceived to be exceptional got better grades from the teacher. And the students who were perceived to be not very bright got lower grades. This can be perceived that the image of one's self is important for success. But it can also be perceived that the teacher's perception was fulfilled. Either way it is still important to not focus on a possible negative image of one's self. I emphasize on "possible" negative image because it is most likely imagined. The only perception that is important is one's self perception. The self image is more accurate than any other image because a person has a greater grasp of what is really happening. For example, I have been considered irresponsible by many people. But I believe I'm incapable of being irresponsible since I have been a landlord, a manager, and a business owner for a significant part of my life. I have been called an "idiot" and have been considered stupid. I have always had a level of awareness that allowed me to be so sure of myself. People have called me a "bottomless pit" because I eat so much. But they are not aware I only eat once a day. I can go on and on. But I am more aware of my capability than others. I am more aware of my generosity than others. I am more aware of myself than others. I will never focus on what negative thing can happen if someone has the wrong perception of me. I only focus on what is good.
